Sexy, Dirty and Everything Flirty

NEW BLOG

2006-03-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

Dear loyal readers,

I've changed my blog. However, this time, it's private. If you'd like to keep reading, send me an e-mail to sweetasianrain@hotmail.com with your name and e-mail address and also a link to your blog. You'll be added to a list which will notify you of when the blog is updated. Hope to see you all there!

Love always,

Quyen :)

My Nightmare Revisited

2006-03-17T10:17:00.000-08:00

Here's an e-mail my ex sent me last nite concerning my last post:

----------------------------------------------------------------

Let's make this short.

Your dream says more about you than it does me.

1) You're projecting your own desire for violence onto me. If you had ever taken the time to get to know me, which I know is a stretch for you, you would know I think violence is the lamest form of revenge. As I recall, you threw fits because I refused to satisfy your disturbing urge for domination and violence in relationships.

2) The reason you imagine yourself being killed is because somewhere in that abyss you call your heart you know that what you've done is low. So low, that you would kill someone if they chose to do the same to you.

3) Who knows what your dream means - maybe you're capable of murder, easily capable. Maybe you feel you deserve to be punished for what you've done, though I highly doubt that. Or, you could be playing both roles - yourself and myself. You might be trying to destroy that part of you that ruins relationships and incites hatred.

4) As for hate - you've done more than your share to deserve it. But, you definitely pushed the envelope throwing allegations at me while I was hospitalized and suffering from internal bleeding. That was uncalled for.

- As for revenge, you're doing a good enough job on your own - jumping from one inevitably doomed scenario to the next. If not, one can always count on your selfish disregard for others, or deep-running need for approval to ruin things.

- That's it - I need to continue unpacking. I just came home from a conference in Tampa, Florida, where I presented.

Nightmare

2006-03-14T13:29:00.000-08:00

I haven't been getting much sleep because of staying up late. So, I decided to take a nap yesterday at 6:30PM. I woke up at 10:30 PM, sweating and crying :( I had the worst dream ever. I was auditioning for some kind of musical at my college, and there was this little mailbox center right outside the audition building. Everyday, I would check the mail and I would get these creepy letters from my ex b/f with postdates like "Sent two days ago" and stuff like that.

This kept going on for a few days, but the postdates kept getting closer and closer to the current time, each day. One nite, it was cold and rainy and I went outside to check the mail. Inside the mailbox was another letter from my ex, but this time, it was postdated "Sent 2 minutes ago". Right after reading that, I feel a gun barrel against the back of my head and a "click". I remember hearing Chris' voice as I cried and begged for my life. He shot me in the head and the dream ended with blood gushing out of my face all over the pavement and being washed away by the rain.

When I woke up, I was so disturbed. I've never, ever had a dream like that before in my life. I never even knew you could cry in your sleep. I woke up thinking, "God, Chris hates me so much." Like, pure hate. It was incredible. It's the kind of hate that could lead to someone killing another person. And that's what I think this dream symbolized. The disturbing part is that I can actually envision this happening in reality, and I realize that my ex, more than anything, arouses feelings of fear inside of me :(

LMAO

2006-03-10T10:01:00.000-08:00

You guys HAVE to see this video! :D You can watch it without sound, but it's more effective if you do (especially at the end!) ;) Be careful: this is not work safe

http://www.ketchupeffect.com/teaser.htm

Enjoy! :D

Two's

2006-03-09T10:16:00.000-08:00

Two Names You Go By
1. Q
2. Quinnalynn

Two Parts of Your Heritage
1. Vietnamese
2. French

Two things that scare you
1. Ghosts
2. Bugs

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. "Wet Your Whistle" chapstick from Bath & Body Works
2. Calling someone

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Armani glasses
2. Sushi Aki T-shirt

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists
1. Celine Dion
2. Whitney Houston

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You
1. Abs
2. Eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Gaming
2. Writing

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. Amazing, all-consuming love
2. Gourmet chef skills

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. NYC
2. Japan

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Publish a book
2. Be a soloist one last time

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. The leftovers in my microwave
2. White Zinfandel

Two favorite web sites
1. Blogger
2. Craigslist

Two Favorite Sports (to watch and/or play)
1. Tennis
2. Snowboarding

Two People who will fill this out
1. Peachy
2. YB

Two things you did last night
1. Listened to love songs
2. Beat Warcraft III

Two shows you like to watch
1. Project Runway
2. 24

Two places you like to go to:
1. My b/f's place
2. Malls

Two Favorite Subjects In School:
1. Creative writing
2. Literature

Two Favorite Places to eat:
1. Tango D'Amore
2. Bossa Nova

Two things you like about yourself (physically):
1. My hair
2. My eyes

Two things you ate today:
1. Nothing yet
2.

Two people you last talked to:
1. Matt
2. Jenni

Two Things You're doing tomorrow:
1. Recital rehearsal
2. Working

Bad Day

2006-03-05T22:49:00.000-08:00

Friday nite, my b/f came over and we made dinner and watched a movie. The next morning, I woke up early to make us both a healthy breakfast. He begged me not to go to work and to spend all day hanging out with him, and as much as I wanted to, I had to make money. So, I gave him the key to my apartment and told him I'd be back at 3.

Ten minutes after I left my apartment, my car overheated on the freeway :( I put coolant in the reservoir and waited a little to see if it would cool down. Meanwhile, I called in to work to cancel my first lesson of the day. After waiting awhile, I tried driving it again. Within seconds, it overheated again :( I carefully made my way to the nearest exit and parked right next to a mechanic.

I called my b/f and asked him to pick me up and then proceeded to cancel all of my lessons for the day. When my b/f got there, he checked things out and then decided to go get help from the mechanic. I was so relieved that he just took charge of things. My ex used to make me go get or ask for whatever I wanted: directions, napkin, price check, whatever. It was nice to just watch my man do his thing and take care of the situation. It was so sexy ;)

As we were leaving, he handed me my house key, and for a second, I almost told him to hold on to it until we got back home. But I didn't say anything and placed it in this cubby in my car where I put my change. When we got home, I got out of the car and realized I couldn't find the key anywhere! :( My b/f helped me look, but we couldn't find it and the manager wasn't home to give me the spare. This was officially the worst day ever :(

Luckily, my b/f was there to be the glass that was half full :P He gave me a hug and said, "I'm sorry you had a rough morning, but let's make the rest of this day better. We'll go shopping and just hang out today." I'm glad he was there to put things into perspective and to try to comfort me :)

When we got home from shopping, my manager still wasn't there. So, we borrowed a screwdriver from a neighbor and took off all the interior paneling in my car. We discovered it slipped into this hole where the parking brake was. So, we both took turns trying to get it out using a fork :P Eventually, I got bossy and took over the operation and he went to go sit outside on the curb. There was this one point where I had it in my fingers and as I pulled it up, it hit something and fell all the way back down. I screamed so loud :P

Eventually, we got the key and unlocked the door. It felt SO GOOD to be back inside my apartment. We took showers and just watched a movie and then took a nap. An hour later, he ended up waking up and going home to feed his cats. But after he left, I just laid there in bed and just thought to myself: Wow. I'm really glad he was there for me today. He turned a really horrible day into a pretty relaxing and fun, quality-time day :) All in all, I just have to say that I'm really thankful that we're finally together :)

NYR Update

2006-03-02T11:38:00.000-08:00

1) Exercise more

I didn't exercise at all this past month :( But I'd also like to blame it on my broken PS2 :P

2) No more smoking

So, I've come to the conclusion that I like to smoke :P I smoke socially, and sure, it's not good for me... but there's just something about it...

3) Drink less

I drink in complete moderation and my body thanks me :) I'll have a glass of wine with dinner every once in awhile and maybe an after dinner cocktail with my b/f sometimes :)

4) Get contacts

Check. I'm learning that I sort of look nerdy with glasses :P

5) Practice safer sex

Since my abstinence ring, I haven't had any. My b/f and I are going to wait until I'm ready :)

6) Make new friends

Since one of my best girlfriends moved up north, she matchmade me with one of her friends who is also a teacher and is also hilarious... just like me :P

7) Get rid of old acquaintances

Since I've been with the new boy, a lot of people had to be purged. Now it's just me and healthy relationships abound :)

8) Have a new adventure, once a month

Does a b/f or an abstinence ring count as an adventure? :P

9) Start practicing my viola

Hmnn... I could always do better, but at least I'm picking up my viola these days ;) I'm very excited for my string quartet concert in May! :D

10) Be more spiritual

Zilch. Nada. No way. I think I'm just way too busy to go out and perform rituals and that sort of thing. I guess I'm just a believer at heart :)

PS2 Sadness

2006-02-28T09:50:00.000-08:00

I'm so sad! My PS2 totally stopped working! :( I can't play DVDs or CDs anymore on my big TV which has the nice sound. I can still play them on my laptop, but it doesn't have good speakers.

The PS2 has this disc read error. So, it won't read anything - not even games. I tried to open it up and fix it following my friend's instructions through IM, but it didn't work. So, no more listening to music while doing housework or watching DVDs to relax after work :(

The ironic part is I bought my ex a brand spanking new one right before we broke up. So, now I'm stuck with the broken one :( Ah well... c'est la vie. I guess I'm going to have to find a normal DVD player.

Swing, Q! Swing!

2006-02-23T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm just starting to get back into the swing of things, and it feels oh so good :) World of Warcraft is officially off the brain, my string quartet is beginning to really sound good, I'm still basking in the wonderfulness that new relationships have (even though it really began four months ago), and I'm just shaping up in general.

So, I guess you're all wondering about the new beau? ;) He's great, and yes, he's the one I've wanted to be with since the beginning. After he told me he wasn't ready to be serious yet, I went on my merry single way. We lost touch for three weeks, and during that time, I put on my abstinence ring. I guess absence really does make the heart grow fonder because we reconnected at one of the parties I threw, and soon afterwards, we spent Valentine's together, and then he told me that he's been thinking of me more and more.

However, he did end up reading my blog and found out that I was being promiscuous which he got really pissed about and almost called the whole thing off :( But we both think that this is worth trying for, and putting the past behind us is what needed to happen to do that.

So now, we're both on a clean slate. I've spent the last few days with him. Some nights we just eat dinner and watch TV together, other nites, we'll go out dancing at a trance club. He introduced me to his friends the other day and they all seem so chill and down to earth. The best part are the mornings - sometimes, he'll just let me sleep in and I'd wake up to breakfast or vice versa. I love holding him and kissing him on the cheek or when he kisses me on the forehead or rubs my shoulders. I could write forever and ever, but I don't know how much of this he wants other people to know seeing as how I post everything on this blog :P Don't kiss and tell and all that ;) I just wanted to say that I'm really, very content with the way everything is going currently. It's just like it's all somehow come together :)

Surprise!

2006-02-21T11:31:00.000-08:00

I have a boyfriend :D

Poetry with Quyen

2006-02-19T22:41:00.000-08:00

There in Your Hand

There in your hand
are my hopes, my fears.
That is my heart.
Please don’t let me fall asleep.

Are my hopes, my fears,
blending with your own?
Please don’t let me fall asleep.
Please shield me from the midnight air.

Blending with your own,
my tears roll forth.
Please shield me from the midnight air
to keep me safe from harm.

My tears roll forth
and beg of you
to keep me safe from harm.
Throw down your walls

and beg of you
I surely must:
Throw down your walls -
Trust.

I surely must
wane away and tire… So,
trust
your weary soul to me. Don’t

wane away and tire, so
that hope extends
your weary soul, to me. Don’t
smile and pretend

that hope extends
beyond your reach. You cry,
smile, and pretend
that love is just a war torn dream

beyond your reach. You cry
to me, in twilight glow
that love is just a war torn dream,
and I disagree.

To me, in twilight glow,
your face and sky are clear and fresh.
And I disagree,
for in your eyes, is warmth you show.

That is my heart
there in your hand.

Addiction Broken

2006-02-17T12:19:00.000-08:00

Ten days ago, my friend, Dan, dropped off World of Warcraft (WoW) and a free 10-day guest pass. It took me two whole days just to download the updates with dial-up :P But once I got in and created a character, I was hooked! :D I created all sorts of characters in all sorts of realms, and my highest level character was a level 15 Night Elf Druid (for those of you who care) :P

The bad thing about having so much fun was that I wasn't going to school and staying up late and playing this game for hours! I even burst a blood vessel in my left eyeball from staring at the screen for too long :P It took two days for it to heal. WoW was taking over my life :(

Last nite, I logged on and it told me I had 30 minutes left, then 25, 20, 15, 10, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, and boom I was logged off. I was so sad! It told me I had to buy a retail version of the game just to play on that account again! That's like $50! PLUS, another $15 a month if you decide to keep playing!

The makers of WoW must be so rich. Thank god I'm on a budget AND I'm cheap. Otherwise, I'd go and renew and waste my young life away staring at a computer game :P Addiction broken. WoW is like crack, except now that I have this abstinence ring, I can't whore myself out to get more :P

Valentine's Day

2006-02-15T07:34:00.000-08:00

E. Unavailable (the guy I fell for who didn't want to have a relationship with me) took me out for Valentine's Day last nite. He surprised me with a single longstem rose (and by longstem, I mean almost as long as my leg :P) It was the perfect start to the evening. We walked from his place to the restaurant, arm in arm. When we arrived, we were seated and he ordered two glasses of cabernet for us. I have to admit, I'm very independent and opinionated, but I love a man who will order for a women, even if it's a glass of wine.

I ordered this amazing dish - salmon in a mushroom saffron sauce with bay scallops served on a bed of steamed spinach and a steamed vegetable medley. It was delicious. He ordered the filet mignon with pommes frites, and we shared creampuffs in raspberry sauce with fresh berries and whipped cream for dessert. That's another reason I like E. Unavailable so much - he has great taste in food. I really feel pampered when a man knows how to pick out a good restaurant and has the good taste to be able to recommend certain things to you or even goes on a culinary adventure with you :)

When we got back to his place, he took out his after-dinner surprise - a bottle of Ciroc - the only vodka made from grapes. I've never had a more characterful vodka in my life! I think I may just have to make the switch from Grey Goose ;) As we were drinking, I tried keeping my distance because I knew I was wearing my abstinence ring, and more importantly, he knew I was wearing my abstinence ring.

Eventually, I think he got tired of cat and mouse and came over to me and started rubbing my shoulders. It felt so good, and the more I moaned and sighed, the lower his hands went into my dress. Before I knew it, he had gotten the top of my strapless dress off. I told him that I couldn't and pulled it up again. This went on for about an hour in various scenarios before I finally decided to get my things and head home. He responded with, "We're just having fun." And it was clear to me then that all I really was was "fun" to him. I really wanted to stay, but I knew I didn't belong there.

For some reason, I kept hoping that he would ask me to be his g/f last nite. Somewhere in my mind, I thought "tonite is the nite!" But I was only fooling myself. I have to admit, it really does hurt, especially when he's holding my hands in his or just snuggling with me. It's almost as if we're supposed to be together, but then, somehow, it's all taken away again. I wish things were different, but you can't make someone want to be with you, even if you want to be with them. It's just that everytime I hug him or kiss him or lay next to him and look at him, it feels like coming home.

Stand Up or Sit Down?

2006-02-13T10:21:00.000-08:00

Last nite, I went to my very first comedy club. My friend from last month's threesome, Mr. X, was in the raffle for the open mic, and I decided to go and support him. Unfortunately, he didn't get picked, but I did end up staying for a couple hours anyway.

On the whole, the open mic comics were horrible, which leads me to believe that I could do a better job myself. I've always dreamed of writing something and doing stand up comedy. Maybe I should get a whole group of friends to write stuff and then go with them and enter the raffle. That would be an adventure in itself :)

Even though the comics weren't that good, here's my favorite joke from last nite:

Wanna hear a joke about two prostitutes?

Okay.

There were two prostitutes named Ethyl and Mabel.

Ethyl says to Mabel, "Hey Mabel, when a tree falls in the woods, but no one is around and the other trees have no eyes and ears, did it really fall?"

And Mabel says, "I don't know, but my pussy sure hurts."

Thank you.

:P

Abstinence Ring

2006-02-08T09:54:00.000-08:00

On Superbowl Sunday, my best g/f, Ly, invited me over to her place for a BBQ. Not only did we have chorizo and chicken, but we also had margaritas which gave me the longest brain freeze in history! I was walking around in circles for a good 30 seconds :P Anyway, after the Superbowl was over, everyone decided they wanted to watch the Paris Hilton porn video. Well, I was sitting there watching this thing, getting all hot and bothered, while everyone else was getting all hot and bothered with each other. I decided I needed to take action. Ly said she never saw someone get up and leave that fast before...

I was driving back to my place and I called three boys, asking if they were up to meeting at my place in 30 minutes. Soon after, Mr. MIA answered my S.O.S. It was the usual "tie him to the bed and blindfold him" routine. After I was done with him, I took a shower, and lo and behold, when I got out, there was Mr. MIA laying on my couch, not gone yet. I guess he wanted to talk.

After trying to be rude to him so he would get the hint, he was still there, and I gave in. We talked for an hour about sex and relationships and our pasts. It was the first time I'd ever had a "heart to heart" with him. The funny thing is, a few days earlier, he told me he just wanted to be fucks - no buddies. Why did he all of a sudden want to open up? He left and I saw him off. But his words were still in my mind, and I spent the rest of the nite not at my party, but analyzing our conversation.

I don't know what he said that made me mull over his words, but they acted as a catalyst. I opened my jewelry box and pulled out an old diamond solitaire set in gold. At one time, this ring had carried all my hopes for the future, and I decided that its job was not done yet - I still had hope. This ring was to be my abstinence ring, and as I slipped it onto my finger, I kissed it and promised myself that the next time I have sex, it will be with someone I love.

It took me over a year to realize that being promiscuous was not who I really was inside. And while that year was tumtultuous and self-demeaning, I finally learned the lesson I needed to learn. You can't make yourself into what you are not. I'm not a jaded, heartless, female player. I'm not as tough as nails when it comes to matters of the heart. And people aren't replacable. In fact, deep down inside, I'm a fairly caring and compassionate person. I cry when I'm hurt. And I know that people and their feelings are just as important as me and mine.

Cheers to sex with love and to finding love within myself...

NYR Revisited

2006-02-03T09:49:00.000-08:00

1) Exercise more
I bought a balance ball and have worked out maybe five times this month. But the way I figure it, five is better than zero :P In fact, I plan to work out this morning :)

2) No more smoking
I did smoke this month. Shame on me :(

3) Drink less
I totally did well on this one! I only drink at parties and maybe get-togethers these days. My liver thanks me :)

4) Get contacts
Not only did I get contacts, but I also bought a pair of Chanel sunglasses that weigh in at $300. Now I can look glam and pretentious all at the same time :P

5) Practice safer sex
I got tested and I'm clean, but I haven't practiced safe sex as much as I'd like to. It's not asking that's the problem. I just don't like the feeling. But for my health, I need to start being good about this.

6) Make new friends
I think I've made at least three new friends this month :)

7) Get rid of old acquaintances
I got rid of Sir Shady. That's a step in the right direction, right? ;)

8) Have a new adventure, once a month
Does a bisexual threesome count as an adventure? :P

9) Start practicing my viola
I haven't done it regularly, but I've done it enough to keep up the current level of skill that I do have. Now that I'm taking private lessons through school, I'll have more pressure to do well.

10) Be more spiritual
Whoa! I totally forgot I even made this resolution :( Needless to say, I haven't done anything spiritually fulfilling this year yet, but I mean to...

BS Wednesday :P

2006-02-01T10:07:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago, I had my first threesome AND my first bisexual experience. They were a couple (we'll call them Mr. and Ms. X :P) who were looking for a third to join them, and I volunteered since I already knew the guy. I was so nervous! I had never been with a girl and had never had a threesome before, even though I've always wanted to have one with two men (which is still my fantasy :P) It almost didn't fly because Ms. X and I kept having cold feet about the whole thing and tried calling it off. However, due to the persistence of Mr. X, we all went through with it.

I got to their place around 8:30PM, and Mr. X greeted me on the street and walked me back to his place. He told me that Ms. X was inside getting ready. I was so scared about what was about to happen. When I walked in, Ms. X came out of the bathroom. She was beautiful: white, 5'8" (my height), long, tousled brown hair, dramatic eyes, soft lips, and a tight body to rival my own. We hugged and smiled and started playing Xbox 360 on the couch.

Soon after I got there, Mr. X sent us out to the market to pick up some drinking paraphenilia. She and I hit it off, immediately. She was funny, smart, sexy, and real. I could see immediately how lucky Mr. X was to have her. We came back to the smell of Mr. X making fajitas and I started bartending Vanilla Bombs: 1 part vanilla vodka + 1 part diet vanilla Pepsi over ice (you can't even taste the alcohol!)

A few drinks in, we started playing strip Mario Party 6 - Mr. X was the first to lose all of his clothes. Halfway in, Mr. X ran to the bathroom and Ms. X pulled me aside and asked me if I was comfortable with all this. I told her I was, and she leaned in and kissed me on the lips. I was stunned. The game continued until I was the last to take off my lacy pink thong.

I don't remember all that much. It was mostly a blur. I do remember making out with her a lot, fingering her, and I even went down on her! It was the weirdest thing I think I've ever done in the bedroom :P It wasn't bad, but it was nothing like how I expected it to be. Apparently, I'm not bad at it either... she came twice - once from me and once while riding Mr. X. But I think she faked an orgasm for me to help me feel better :P

As for what they did to me, well, she fucked me with a dildo while I went down on Mr. X. Then, he fucked me while she touched herself in front of us. It was so erotic to see another woman doing the same things I do when I'm with guys. She and I were alike in so many ways. I had a lot of fun chatting and relating with her between escapades, and she told me several times that she thought I was gorgeous and an amazing kisser. She was as well.

In the end, I didn't cum at all. I was just so out of my element that I think I was just shocked by everything. I had a fun time, all in all. And I think Ms. X is one bad-ass chick. Even if we met not under these circumstances, I know we would have clicked. We 3-way kissed at the end of everything, and it was the hottest thing I've ever done.

The next morning, Mr. X had already left for work, and Ms. X and I were laying in bed holding each other and rubbing each other's shoulders. We laid in bed for awhile talking like best friends - sharing stories, talking about the people in our lives, and just enjoying each other's company.

Mr. X will be out for the next few days on business, and I told Ms. X that she should come over to my place and just hang out. Not just for sex (although I'm still curious as to how far I'm willing to go) but to do our nails, watch Sex in the City, cook and eat, and just get to know each other as friends.

They want this to be a 3-way relationship, each of us really caring about the other two. In reality, I know I'm the guest star. But a part of me wonders whether exploring my sexuality like this is exactly what I've been needing? Whatever happens, I know I've made an awesome new girlfriend :)

Critics

2006-01-27T12:12:00.000-08:00

Dear SweetGirl909 (AKA Chris the Ex),

Firstly, I know it's you. I've known it's you since the first time you posted under that pseudonym, but I've said nothing until now. You know it's you, and I know it's you. So, why hide behind a fake persona? Is it so you won't get criticized for your biased views on me?

Secondly, why are you still trying to infiltrate my life? Last I remember, you wanted me to "get an STD and die" or something like that. I'm happy being out of your life. Why can't you be content staying out of mine? Just so you know, hiding in closets as well as stalking are never in fashion.

Third, you need to move on, for your own sake. It's been ten months since we've broken up. Go out, date, and forget about me. As much as I know you like to try to humiliate me on my blog, the best revenge would be to be happy and chalk up what happened between us as a bad idea. The longer you keep drawing out your pain, the longer it will be before you are truly happy.

Good Luck,

Quyen

A Wish for the Future

2006-01-25T21:05:00.000-08:00

While on my way to work today, I was sitting at a stoplight, and I watched an old woman cross the street with her grandson's hand in hers. He was flailing his arms about, taking in the world around him, naive to the danger which surrounded him, while his grandmother chided him and walked him to the other side of the street, to saftey. He was a small human being, with no knowledge of the ills of the world or the mandates of society and social standing. He was, ideally, what philsophers refer to as tabula rasa, or "blank slate".

All children are tabulae rasae, entering the world with no preconceived mental constructs about anything. No racism, no hatred, no maliciousness. All of that is learned. And as I saw the little boy cross the street, I wondered, "What kind of man will he grow up to be?" Will he commit hate crimes? Will he stand by while they happen? Will he think women are his equals? Will he destroy life in the name of war?

Every child, no matter what race, color, creed, gender, or sexual orientation is a wish for the future. How we raise our children, as a society, directly affects our own dreams for not only our children's futures, but our own visions of what is ideal as well. How we act, how we think, and what we say are all subject to examination for our little tabulae rasae. And it pains me to imagine that, at this moment, some people are telling racist jokes to our "blank slates".

Fuck Buddies

2006-01-24T00:21:00.000-08:00

I have more than enough of them, and enough is enough. The funny thing about hot sex is that when you aren't having it, you want it even more than an ice-cold beverage on a hot day. But when you are having it, you could care less. That's me right now. I literally have a collection of some of the hottest, most amazing, virile young men I have ever been with in my life, all just a phone call away. But I'm bored and, most of all, restless.

I can have sex with someone, and as soon as they leave, I'm up and about looking for something else to do. It's as if I feel like I'm pity-fucking these gorgeous men. Some might say that I'm looking for something deeper, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be swept off of my feet. But on the other hand, I'm still not ready for a relationship. So, why am I acting so disinterested?

The funny part is that I'm most content sitting home alone, reading a book in bed, or doing laundry while feigning being glamorous in my Chanel sunglasses. Frankly, it's a lot more productive than watching a guy try to make me cum for two hours. I wish I could say I enjoyed the sex more, but I just have so much of it now that it's just "blah". My friends say that I'm evolving. But am I starting to evolve past the need for sex?

$$$

2006-01-20T12:41:00.000-08:00

Two things:

1) I hate being on a budget.

2) It went up in price :(

Obligation

2006-01-18T10:54:00.000-08:00

Someone once told me, "You have no obligation to anyone but yourself". Those words literally redirected my past relationship, my ideals, my goals and my aspirations. I remember I first heard them three weeks before my boob job, around my 21st birthday, and ever since I've heard them, I've been living with that as my mantra.

If I had never heard those words, I'm positive that I'd still be with Chris, being a wonderful and loving partner. It's funny. It's like those words were some kind of magic spell that brought out a whole host of qualities in me I had never seen. I became more independent, more self-serving, more fiesty... Chris often asked me what about me changed, suddenly? I think I've finally pinpointed it.

It's amazing how much impact another's words can have on a person. For me, they changed everything about my life. I started seeing life as less a matter of debts and reparations and more as the idea of self-permanence and disposability. I started to see people as islands, only sailing to other islands to get something they needed, whether it was money, validation, or even the promise of a future favor.

People stepped out of old mental constructs and evolved into something entirely different. My family went from the institution I would have sacrificed myself for to a set of people who knew my childhood better than I did. My friends changed from a form of social leisure into a series of give and take sessions. And Chris, whom I had thought I would love forever, became a man.

When you live like that, you only want to take from others and you only warrant giving when there is something to take in the first place. It's the idea that if you aren't helping me, then you are hurting me. This is why the men I date are so disposable. Sex and affection have become business transactions. And that is where I am wrong.

Knowing what I know now, I would have revised what my friend said into, "The only obligation you have to anyone is to those you love". I still believe that give and take relationships exist with acquaintances and friends. But for those you love, you need to give yourself and take care of them the best way you know how. And in respecting the past, I'm giving my apology to Chris - I have finally found a reason to truly be sorry.

Meow.

2006-01-13T13:52:00.000-08:00

I want this. Now.

If anyone wants to buy this for me, click here :P

Wiki Wiki Sir Shady - Part Deux :P

2006-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

So flash forward and he's at my door. I open the door and the first thing he does is lay a big fat one on me (and no, I don't mean his penis :P). At this point, I'm totally stunned because he's never even taken my hand or anything before this. Also, he missed my mouth and got my nose :( So, after wiping his saliva off, I invited him to have a drink at my full bar. Like a true Mexican, he goes straight for the tequila, which is good because I hate tequila. Anyway, we start watching "Sex and the City" and he just thinks it's the bee's knees :P Meanwhile, I'm cooking dinner - Fettucine Alfredo with Garlic Bread.

Finally, dinner is ready and I invite him to the table. He comes up to me and says, "Wow, this looks so good. Thank you so much for cooking." Then, he lays another fat one on me, except this time he engulfs my chin. Gross. I just don't understand bad kissers. I know I'm not the best kisser, but at least I can find the mouth :P

Anyway, we get done with dinner and we pour ourselves another drink and pop in a foreign film. Well, five minutes into the movie, he starts grinding into my leg saying, "Alcohol makes me horny". Great. Mr. Asexual just turned into Mr. Drunk Fuck.

Speaking of which, the whole day I kept asking myself if I wanted to be his first Asian - his experimental yellow sexcapade :P On one hand, I didn't want to be anyone's old college try, but then again, I remember when I thought I wasn't attracted to black men, but then I dated one and couldn't get enough of him. So then I thought, "Maybe I'll be doing a favor for all Asians if I sleep with this guy and show him what we're all about. Yeah, that's it!" I felt like a humanitarian :)

So, to the bedroom we went... and for the first forever, he just wanted to touch and makeout, which was so unattractive considering that "making out" basically meant he just wanted to miss my mouth 20 or 30 times in succession :( After that, it went to oral... and there it was - his uncut penis.

I don't know how to say this, but... I fucking hate uncut penis. There's just so much extra skin and you have to be careful not to touch it the wrong way and then it's all sensitive so when you really start to get going and are getting into it, they are like, "No, no. Don't touch my penis." And don't even get me going on the smegma... Yuck! It's like a high maintenance penis :P

Anyway, I couldn't bring myself to really go down on him. I think I just licked it a few times and I called it a day. So, I ended up just laying there and he says to me, "I wanna fuck you." Well, I sure as hell didn't want to fuck him. So, I came up with a quick excuse: "I only let my b/fs fuck me." "Well, I sorta think of you as my g/f already." OH HELL NO! WTF? Are you kidding me? I wanted to call like 10 people right there and be like "Oh hell no! This mothafucka did not just say that!" I mean, what kind of line IS that? I was so offended that I just left him there and went to the bathroom to pluck my eyebrows and wash my face and get ready for bed.

When I got back into the room, he was still there... except now he wanted to chat... for 4 hours. He ended up leaving around 4:30AM. I went to sleep thinking: "God, I hope he doesn't call me. That way, I won't have to sit there and explain to him why he's such a dick."

TO BE CONTINUED???

Sir Shady

2006-01-10T12:10:00.000-08:00

When I first met Sir Shady, I thought he was perfect: he was a sexy college professor with a PhD and cared as much about education as I do. We went on date after date - dinner and a movie, art museum outting, TV and takeout, etc. As the dates went on, absolutely nothing that could be even mistaken for sexual happened. No kissing, no close contact hugs, nothing. I started to refer to him as "asexual" - there could be no other explanation :P I even tried the little hand on the arm or reassuring touch on the back and even "accidentally" brushed up against him a couple times. Nothing. No smile, no acknowledgement. Eventually I gave up on him and realized that our relationship was strictly platonic.

Then, one day he calls me and the first thing out of his mouth is "What are you looking for in a relationship?" WTF? That was out of nowhere. So, I tell him, and he reassures me that he's looking for the same things. Then he says this: "Now that you've had a chance to see the positive things about me, I want to let you know about the negative things". In all my naiveity, I ask, "Um, what negative things?"

- "I lied about my age. I'm 35, not 30."

- "I have an ex-wife and was recently divorced a few months ago."

- "I also have two children."

- "I think you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, warm, and compassionate. But I'm just not attracted to Asians."

At this point, I'm like "Just wow". But I tried to keep an open mind and understand why he would lie to me. If I had baggage like that, I guess I wouldn't want anyone to know right away either... But the thing that really got me was that he wasn't attracted to Asians. I was kinda like, "Why are you even dating me then?" I have never truly understood what racism was, until then. I was being disliked for something I couldn't even change about myself. Sure, don't like me because I'm prudish, or don't like me because I make stupid jokes... But don't like me because I'm chinky and yellow? That's uncalled for :P

Anyway, despite it all, I still kept our date for that evening and let him come over that nite...

To be continued... ;)

Living up to the name...

2006-01-08T09:38:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking... this blog is called "Sexy, Dirty, and Everything Flirty". Yet, it doesn't appear that any sexing, dirtying, or flirting is going on :P Let me make things better ;)

For the past three months or so, I've been dating three guys. For our purposes here, we'll call them Mr. MIA, Sir Shady, and E. Unavailable. Each of them has something really attractive about them and then there's the baggage...

Let's start with Mr. MIA, which stands for Mr. Missing In Action. BEST SEX I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. Period. I really can't say more. He's my complete sexual match, and in terms of physicality, he's 100% my "type". When we're together, everything is perfect. But when we're not, he's Mr. MIA. I could go a couple weeks without even getting a text message from this guy, and he's flaked on me more times than I can count. It's rude, thoughtless, and inconsiderate. You'd think I would have stopped talking to him by now, but I'm telling you, the sex is just that good :P

That brings us to Sir Shady. Sir Shady is fucking SHADY. That's how he got his name :P He's lied about his age, his ex-wife, the fact that he is a father of two, and more. The funny thing is that he comes off as so sincere. He's the type of guy you sit there and really respect for what he's had to overcome, and then he gets all shady and starts lying to you, and then you wonder if he's lying about the stuff that you find amazing about him too! Oh yeah, he's a horrible kisser too. He consistently misses my mouth and ends up sucking on my chin more often than not :( Gross.

And finally, we have E. Unavailable, first name Emotionally. He's actually the most fun to hang out with. I could just sit there and not say anything to him, but I'd still feel like I'm communicating with him. He's sweet, goofy, and cute to boot. This is actually the guy I started falling in (dare I say it?) love with and was considering dropping everyone else for so I could be there for him 100%. When I finally bared my feelings to him, he turned me down saying that he wasn't ready to have a g/f. I respect his decision, even though it hurt and I cried. But leave it to me to fall for the guy who can't return my affections (or anyone else's) because of his lack of readiness.

Anyway, now that I've introduced the characters, it's time to start telling the stories... To be continued... ;)

Impulse Buy of the Year

2006-01-04T11:09:00.000-08:00

I just spent $1,750 on this.

Boys

2005-12-29T09:40:00.000-08:00

Some boys are insincere. They lie to you about their age, their relationship status, whether they have kids or not, and how much they really like you just to get a chance to get into your pants.

Some boys are emotionally unavailable. They keep things light and fun so you never question why none of their friends know about you, and they dodge affection like it isn't real.

And there are some boys who will tell you that they're sorry when they make a mistake, and when you say "it's okay", they will tell you it's not and give you a hug that means "thanks for being patient with me". These are the boys that will look into your eyes while laying on top of you and tell you that you are gorgeous, and when you try to dismiss it as a tired line and say nothing to acknowledge it, they will not let you kiss them, even though you try to. Instead, they will catch your eyes and ask again and again - "You're gorgeous. Do you know that?" And after enough times, you will skeptically ask, "Really? You think so?" And they will say yes and kiss you on your forehead in such a way that when you fall asleep in their arms, you will truly believe that you are more than just beautiful in their eyes.

New Year's Resolutions

2005-12-27T09:04:00.000-08:00

1) Exercise more

I won't join a gym or invest in new equipment. I'll just make room for my exercise ball and yoga mat everyday and flip on the exercise DVDs.

2) No more smoking

I smoke like once a month, if that, but I always feel like crap after I do. So, no more smoking for me.

3) Drink less

I'm getting rid of my at-home bar. I might throw a New Year's Eve party at my place and drink the rest of my full bar. I'm sad to see it go, but alcohol is a toxin, not a beverage :P

4) Get contacts

I'm finally going to take the plunge. 4 out of 5 people agree that I'd look hotter without glasses. I guess we'll "see" ;) Aren't I "punny"? :P

5) Practice safer sex

I'm going to get a fishbowl, fill it with condoms and put it on my nitestand. Who cares if people think I'm promiscuous? At least I'll be safe and I'll feel less uneasy after sex.

6) Make new friends

I'm going to be that girl who always has her cell phone going off. I hate having to depend on my small group of friends whenever I want to do something.

7) Get rid of old acquaintances

I have a lot of scummy people that I know, and they need to be purged. So, out with the old, in with the new ;)

8) Have a new adventure, once a month

I've always wanted to go wine tasting, or camping, or get all glammed up and go to a goth club or something. I want to try new things while I still have the energy to try it all :D

9) Start practicing my viola

I've been in a 2-year practicing funk. If I could practice just one hour a day, imagine how good I would be ;) Plus, I have to prep for my senior recital in the Fall of '06 ;)

10) Be more spiritual

It's been years since I've really taken spirituality seriously. I'd like to train in the meditative arts as well as hone my divinational skills. I think it would be something very important for me to do because my internal life is currently lacking a center :(

This will be a monthly updated blog, and I will keep track of my progress throughout the year. My end goal is to stay faithful to a minimum of 3 resolutions :)

Time to Say Goodbye

2005-12-15T23:09:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, you just have to know when to stop gambling. We all lose a few hands, and sometimes, you just want to keep playing and keep betting, if only to not let everyone else walk away from the table with your money. But there comes a point when you have to get up, grab your dignity, and walk away. That time is now.

There are people who you'll meet in life who will be happy with you no matter what you do. And there are people you'll meet in life who will always see the things you do that are wrong. There will be people who want you to stay the same, and there are people who will want you to change, for better or for worse. But no matter how many people you meet in life, you always have to remember something: you are you.

You cannot be a recreation of what someone else wants you to be. You cannot change for anyone else but yourself, no matter how virtuous or vile the reason. And above all, you are a constantly changing stream, always taking different paths and creating your own life to how you see fit. You may have additions in your life such as relationships or goals that you can nurture and support. But there are other times where what you let in your life becomes an obstruction and you either need to dispel it from your system or find a way around it. And you, being the ever-changing stream, does exactly that.

I had an obstruction. I found my way around it. And now, I have dispelled it. Goodbye. Peace be with me.

Seven People Broke Up With Me :(

2005-11-30T10:25:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda bummed out. I've lost 7 students in the past couple of months. Not only is that a pretty good cut in pay - about $300 a month, but also, these are students who I've invested so much time and effort into. I'm sad to see them go :(

Teaching is like managing tons of little relationships. You have to be so much wrapped all into one. You have to make your students feel good about themselves, highlight their flaws in a gentle manner, always be patient and ready to explain yourself, look out for their best interests over your own, always push them to be their best, and so much more.

So, when a student stops studying with you, it's like they're breaking up with you. You get all those same feelings you get when a relationship ends. You start to question whether or not you were good for them, or whether their heart was really in it. You start to wonder if they ever enjoyed their time with you, and you wonder if the reason they left is because of you.

It's funny that there is a parallel between teaching and relationships. Remember how it felt when that one special person broke up with you? Now imagine 7 people breaking up with you, one right after another. It really breaks my spirit :(

Thanksgiving :)

2005-11-29T12:22:00.000-08:00

If I could tell how I how my Thanksgiving was in one word, it would be intimate. I spent nearly 10 hours cooking an entire Thanksgiving feast on my own.

On Wednesday nite, I cooked from 9PM to 1AM baking two homemade pumpkin pies from scratch, cubing a whole loaf of bread and toasting it in the oven, mincing and chopping green pepper, parsley, onion, carrots and celery for my homemade stuffing, rinsing and cleaning the 12 lbs. turkey and seasoning it inside and out, boiling the neck, gizzard, liver and heart with chicken stock to make the gravy stock, and washing all my dishes in preparation for the next day.

On Thursday, I woke up and started cooking by 10AM. I made my mom's 3-layer cream Jell-O, sauteed the remaining ingredients for the stuffing and combined them with the gravy stock to keep it moist while baking, seasoned the turkey again and then stuffed it until it was spilling out, mashed 5 lbs of potatoes, and all the while, cleaning my apartment from top to bottom to make sure everything was super clean for my guests. I stopped running around with my head cut off around 4PM.

I had 7 guests total: my co-worker, one of my best g/fs and her b/f, my best friend, a couple of old friends from school, and one new friend :) All the people who were invited didn't have the opportunity to spend Thanksgiving with their families. That was the whole theme this Thanksgiving - since I couldn't go see my family, I wanted everyone else who was in my situation be able to spend a nice Thanksgiving with someone and eat a great meal :)

Everyone really enjoyed the food, and I practically had no leftovers! We watched Rat Race, played some Gamecube, played Cranium, and some of my guests ended up lip-locking at the end of the nite :P All-in-all, it was rewarding. I spent so much time cooking that when I could see my friend's faces when they were eating, it really made me happy :) In that way, I would say that my Thanksgiving was intimate: 8 people coming together to form a temporary family, enjoying one another's company along with a great meal and going home knowing they had spent time with others instead of braving the holiday alone, at home :) Knowing that made all the work worth it ;)

Goals Revisited

2005-11-23T12:35:00.000-08:00

Let's hope I break last week's 6 1/2 points ;)

1) Get someone to burn me some Tiesto (1 point)
- My friend Edgar lent me a whole set of Tiesto, PVD, and trance mix CDs. I also got my sister to burn me some of her fave mixes and Mogwai was kind enough to offer to send me some too :)

2) Get my oil changed (for real this time!) :P (1 point)
- Yes! No car breakdown for me! :D

3) Wash all my dishes (and keep it from piling up for awhile) (0 points)
- I'm STILL a dirty pig...

4) Start practicing Kung Fu by myself (0 points)
- I'm ALSO a lazy ass...

5) Go get a full body massage (1 point)
- Got one, but it wasn't that great :/

6) Go to Bath & Body Works' new Grand Opening and get my promos ;) (1 point)
- The tank top I got is super cute! And I might start carrying my materials for teaching in the pink leopard tote ;) I also got sold on Murad's acne complex kit and their tinted SPF 15 sunscreen - it's like makeup that's good for you! :D

7) Re-do my budget and start tracking my expenses! (1 point)
- I did my budget, and I've narrowed it down to about $1,830 a month. So far, I've been really good about not going over on my weekly budgeting :)

8) Make a list of people I have to shop for for Xmas (1 point)
- It's funny. When you try to make a definitive list for anything, someone invariably gets left out or someone else will invariably be crossed out in the following weeks :P

9) Cook something I've never tried to make before (1 point)
- Thanksgiving dinner, baby! ;) (And yes, I still get a point even though I'm cooking tomorrow :P)

10) Decide what piece I'll be playing for my recital in December (0 points)
- I'm indecisive.

CONCLUSION: 1) Budgeting is great! 2) I'm an indecisive, lazy pig-ass :P

POINT TOTAL: 7 points

Meditation with Dan

2005-11-19T21:49:00.000-08:00

Tonite, my good friend Dan came to visit and offered to lead a guided yoga meditation. I was hesitant at first as I was trying to win at solitaire, but I eventually gave in to turning the lights off, clearing some space on the floor, and lighting some candles.

As I was getting deeper into the breathing and the meditation, my work became a mesh of Wicca, yoga, and Kung Fu. I started to expand my energy, stretching myself into all the corners of my apartment. We internally chanted, "An open heart heals the world". Then, when we were done, we laid on the floor and closed our eyes.

As I closed my eyes, I had an out of body experience. When I was younger, I used to experience it all the time. But tonite, my alter ego fell from inside of me. She then sprang up into the night air, and upon finding it cold, sprouted a flurry of flowing white banners from her back. I could feel and see what she was feeling and seeing. And when her luminous wings sprang from her, it felt so warm. She lowered herself to my physical body which felt like a vessel, a carcass, and she looked at me. I could see myself through her eyes and I looked so tired and unadorned. She came and hugged me and laid her head on my shoulder. And it felt so good. So good.

She then hovered over me and spoke words inside my head: "You are an angel, and we are one in the same. You are the angel of war. You are the angel of beauty. You are mother to us all, and everyone's worst adversary."

When I was cuddling with myself, I felt like it was yin and yang working together. There was the angelic part of me that wants so badly to care and love someone right now and there's the tired and raw part of me that wants to let go and be weak and vulnerable and be taken care of. And they were taking care of each other. They were satisfying each other's needs to love and be loved. But it was all self-love. Beautiful, comforting self-love.

And she reassured me of my place in the fabric of existence. She reminded me of who and what I am. She reminded me that I have wings of flowing white that I need to stretch once again.

Yay for the Laundromat :P

2005-11-18T22:49:00.000-08:00

So, I know I'm not the most exciting or glamorous person in the world, but doing laundry in my PJs on a Friday nite is pretty much the opposite of exciting and glamorous :P It's okay though, since I work early on Saturdays.

I also have to work on Wednesday and Friday of next week, which means I'm not going back to San Diego for Thanksgiving. At first, I was all bummed out because I didn't know what I was going to do for Thanksgiving. But then I decided to take matters into my own hands and said, "Damnit! I'm gonna make me a turkey!" I then proceeded to call all of my friends and invite them to my Thanksgiving dinner for the family-less :P Then I remembered that I've never cooked a turkey-anything before. What did I get myself into? :P

On the upside, making Thanksgiving dinner takes care of one of my "weekly goals" :P That's 6 goals I've bagged so far, this week! :D Yay for goal setting and accomplishing things you should anyway! ;)

As for the laundromat, two good things came from that: 1) I have fresh laundry and 2) I weighed myself - 149 lbs. baby! ;) *sizzle* :P

Personality Test - So True!

2005-11-17T12:06:00.000-08:00

Your Personality Profile

You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.

You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

10 More Goals

2005-11-16T10:54:00.000-08:00

- Get someone to burn me some Tiesto
- Get my oil changed (for real this time!) :P
- Wash all my dishes (and keep it from piling up for awhile)
- Start practicing Kung Fu by myself
- Go get a full body massage
- Go to Bath & Body Works' new Grand Opening and get my promos ;)
- Re-do my budget and start tracking my expenses!
- Make a list of people I have to shop for for Xmas
- Cook something I've never tried to make before
- Decide what piece I'll be playing for my recital in December

How I Did...

2005-11-16T10:03:00.000-08:00

So last week, I gave myself 10 goals. Here's how I fared:

1) Get a French manicure and pedicure (1/2 point)
I got the French pedicure, but not the manicure. I tried out this foot spa that only does feet! This little Vietnamese girl was meticulous! My feet looked perfect after I was done! Unwittingly, I went shoe shopping right afterwards and fucked up my paint job :P

2) Get my oil changed (0 points)
I've been putting this off for so long. I didn't get around to it, but hopefully I will this weekend.

3) Get free promos from the new Bath & Body Works by spending $30 (0 points)
They put off the Grand Opening until this Thursday :( So, it's not really my fault that I didn't do this because I was there at like 10AM on their Grand Opening Day. Don't worry, though. I'll be there bright and early tomorrow :)

4) Go visit my old Kung Fu class (1 point)
After trying on expensive jewelry that I can't afford at the Beverly Center, I went to visit my Kung Fu class. I made my rounds and got caught up with everyone, and it made me realize that I really miss them. It was the same old people doing the same old things, and there's something comforting about that. I decided that I'm going to start practicing on my own and then taking classes again once the semester ends. I've also realized that ever since I stopped practicing Kung Fu, my skin has gone to shit. So, I can rationalize the $100 for tuition by substituting it in my budget for my monthly facial :P

5) Wish Justin and Chris a Happy Bday (1 point)
Although I still have to give Justin a Bday present, I did call him (2 days late :P). For Chris, I took him to see a piano trio and then to Black Angus for our annual Bday tradition, among other things :P

6) Eat at a new restaurant (1 point)
I should get like 6 points for this because I ate at like 6 new restaurants! :D

7) Wash all my dishes (0 points)
I'm a dirty pig :P

8) Invite 5 people to my string quartet concert (1 point)
I invited Chris, the other Chris, Sifu, Joshua, Daniel, and Afshin to tonite's concert. If anyone else wants to come, it will be at CSUN's recital hall at the south end of campus at 8PM.

9) Go see the Gramercy Trio perform (1 point)
They were pretty good and I got to have a really fun masterclass with them the following day in which they showed us some fun new techniques for quartet playing :)

10) Go to Amoeba Music and get a Paul Van Dyk CD (1 point)
I got his CD called "Out There and Back". I'm not sure how much I like it yet. My friend and I were listening to it in his car and he's like, "This sucks. Let's put on some Tiesto!" Now, I'm a Tiesto fan :P

TOTAL POINTS = 6 1/2

10 Goals for the Week

2005-11-09T11:32:00.000-08:00

- Get a French manicure and pedicure
- Get my oil changed
- Get free promos from the new Bath & Body Works by spending $30
- Go visit my old Kung Fu class
- Wish Justin and Chris a Happy Bday
- Eat at a new restaurant
- Wash all my dishes
- Invite 5 people to my string quartet concert
- Go see the Gramercy Trio perform
- Go to Amoeba Music and get a Paul Van Dyk CD

Halloween 2005 :D

2005-11-02T21:34:00.001-08:00

So, this year, I'm actually posting pictures like I said I would :) These were taken at West Hollywood's Carnaval - the largest Halloween celebration in the world! Over 350,000 people show up here to see and be seen, and it's considered a compliment when someone thinks your costume is kewl enough to want to take a picture with you. So, here are the ones that made it into my camera ;) Enjoy! :D

Look! A wee-wee! :P

My geisha twin sister ;)

Look. We match. :P

Life-sized, porcelain dolls or the gay Klu Klux Klan? You be the judge :P

A "pot"ted plant ;) It even reeked of Mary Jane :P

The Ultimate Assassination Squad: Storm Troopers, Darth Vader, Uma Thurman, and O-Ren Ishii :P

If you're wondering why I'm smiling, I have vampire fetish :P

Sexy geisha meets bloodthirsty geisha ;)

"Welcome to the land of the rising sun" - the new ad for Japanese tourism :P

Commitment

2005-10-27T13:09:00.000-07:00

Why is the epitome of an intimate relationship commitment? What is it about us that makes us feel like commiting ourselves to someone or having others commit to us is somehow better? Sure, commitment makes us feel safe and comfortable. When we're in a committed relationship, we can talk openly and freely with the understanding that it's just between the two of you, not anyone else. We can express our intimate love for one another without hangups or boundaries.

But what if it's all an illusion? What if commitment doesn't change anything and it's just a figment of our imagination? What if we're tricking ourselves? How much do we really know about the people we're sleeping with? We can feel like we can say anything to each other in a committed relationship, but what if that's not true? What if commitment just makes us bolder and more brash to one another?

What about the title "girlfriend" gives her the right to call 20 times a day? What about the title "boyfriend" gives him the right to know where you are every second of the day? What if commitment is not the beginning, but the end?

If commitment is not all it's cracked up to be, then "friends with benefits" is also a no go. "Friends with benefits" assumes you're using someone for the intimate things you need when and where you want them. There's nothing nice about having that "one nite stand" feeling, regularly. And I guess that's where commitment comes from. It's a form of ownership. It defeats and throws down jealousy and doubt and mistrust. In a way, the word "commitment" should be translated as "commit to me - because you're mine."

Extremism and Maturity

2005-10-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been thinking about extremism and maturity and what these two ideas hold for each other. Are they opposites? Someone can easily say that to be mature is to be able to compromise and find the middle-ground. Or are they complements? For being mature enough to know you want and then not settle for less is mututally beneficial.

People always say that I'm mature - wise beyond my years and able to handle the rigors of life extraordinarily well for someone my age, which assumes maturity comes with time and experience. I can say that I've had my fair share of experiences in my lifetime, probably more than most 22-year-olds. I've been challenged by others and by myself and because of that, I've come out strong and able to roll with life's punches. I know that nothing is forever - friendships can reblossom, people can die, ability can be restored, a moment is a moment, and things will never be the same way they were yesterday.

So, with that, does maturity foster compromise or extremism? If someone understands that things are temporary and transparent, would they invariably search for something present and permanent in their lives? Would they be extremists in the sense that they won't settle for less than what they're looking for? Would we say that people who spend their whole lives looking for their soulmates are mature? Or is that when someone understands that life is made up of moments, that they only seek to share in an isolated moment and therefore are willing to compromise what they really want for what they want, right now?

But maybe to be mature is to know how to juggle both - to strive towards your ideals while being able to still enjoy the path you take to get there. Maybe maturity not only assumes time and experience, but also being able to use that time and experience to make future time and experience worth living.

I used to be an extremist about everything, but I find myself slowly changing with the seasons. I'm more able to let people pass through my life, appreciate people for who they are trying to become, let go of old dreams, and remember the times when things were perfect and I didn't hope for more - for friendships can reblossom, people can die, ability can be restored, a moment is a moment, and things will never be the same way they were yesterday.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!

2005-10-18T08:23:00.000-07:00

There is no hot water in my apartment! :( I hate this! It's been like this since yesterday afternoon. I had to do dishes in cold water and wash my face with cold water, and now, I'm going to have to do it again! :( And I really was looking forward to a nice hot shower this morning seeing as it's been rainy and cold since yesterday. *sigh*

My finger is still jacked too. I sat out on our quartet rehearsal yesterday because my finger hurt so bad that I couldn't even move it. So, I just coached. It's really fun and an educational experience to sit and listen to your colleaugues play from an objective standpoint. You get to really see their strengths and weaknesses. I wonder what I would say about my own playing if I could be objective about it.

Ewwwwwwwwww... I have to go wash my face with cold water now :(

Update

2005-10-17T08:09:00.000-07:00

So, I ended up getting that sexy geisha costume for Halloween. I'm trying to get a group of people to go to West Hollywood's Carnaval where over 300,000 people show up and walk around in their crazy costumes! I went last year and it was so much fun! :D Right now, I'm debating on whether to take pictures before Halloween of me in my costume and post them on my blog or not. What do you guys think? :P

I also have another drink recipe! :D I made it last nite and it got rave reviews. I call this one "Christmas" because of the red and green liquids ;) Take De Kuyper's Sour Green Apple Pucker and fill it an inch full in an "old fashioned" glass. Then, take Ocean Spray cranberry juice and top it off. You don't have to serve it with ice, and it tastes like a healthy fruit juice with a kick! ;) I almost wanted to call it "Quyen Juice", but then I thought of the implications :P hehehe

And now, the most important of these "updates". Yesterday, I played a marathon, 4-hour solo viola gig for an art show. I even had a roadie who set up my microphone, CD player and amp. So, all I had to do was sit down and play into the mic. All was well, until this creepy guy comes up to me and whispers into me ear, as I'm playing, "You have beautiful feet. I want to lick them."

I was mortified. And the worst part was that I couldn't run away because I was in the middle of a song and I also couldn't tell him to get the hell away from me because I was miked and everyone would have heard it over the speaker system! :( So, even though I got accosted by a pervert, I did make $130 at the gig.

But now, I have some kind of rheumatoid arthritis in my left hand fingers because of the weather changing from cold and rainy to hot and sunny and back all day long! My finger is actually still swollen, and I have a concert with the Goldberg Quartet on Thursday! :( What am I going to do? I'm too young to have arthritis :(

Dating News

2005-10-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

So, that guy never called me back. Oh well. It's his loss :P It's too bad that I let him get to me like that though. I don't know what it was, but he totally made me question myself, like whether I'm attractive or intelligent, etc. I hate that I let him have that power over me. If he does call back later, even if I want to go on a second date, I'm just going to say, "Sorry, Buddy. Did you expect me to just sit around and wait for you to call?" What a bastard :P

Dating Makeup Tip: For Asian women, a gold eyeshadow works great as a browbone highlighter. It works so well with our yellow skin! :D For all women, any brightly colored eyeliner pencil looks dramatic when applied on the inside corners of your eyes, nearest the nose. Couple this with a black eyeliner on the outside wings and you've got a striking and unforgettable look ;)

Dating Cocktail Recipe: If you really wanna get your date messed up so you can take advantage of them, make this drink which masks the flavor of its 99 proof liquor! ;) Take an "old-fashioned" glass and fill it about an inch full of "99 Bananas", then top it off any non-alcoholic strawberry daquiri mix. Serve on the rocks. Wait 15 minutes. Take advantage. :P Enjoy! ;)

Someone gave me my first facial!

2005-10-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

Meow.

Just kidding :P I spent $115 on a facial recently because my skin has been looking so bad lately. I learned a lot of cool things in the 90 minutes I spent there like how to give a great neck and shoulder massage, how erotic it is to have someone massage your ears, and the right way to pop a pimple.

I swear! I totally wanted to moan in ecstacy when she was giving me the massage. I mean, it's really hard to not express pleasure when you're experiencing it (that must be why I'm loud in bed :P) But I guess it's like an unspoken rule to not let out a moan when your getting a professional massage. It just makes everyone involved feel really uncomfortable :P

I can just imagine if I did:

*massaging Quyen*

*Quyen moans*

Facialist - "Okay, that's it. Put your clothes back on and get out."

*Facialist leaves and Quyen runs after her*

(at front desk)
Facialist - "I was just sexually harassed by this lesbian!" :P

Anyway, back to the facial... I didn't know this beforehand, but when you get a facial, your skin actually gets worse before it gets better because the facial actually brings all the crap that's waiting deep inside your skin to the surface. So right now, I have the worst acne I could ever imagine :( Hopefully this getting a facial once a month helps me out. If it does, I can put it in my budget :P

Halloween Costumes :D

2005-10-10T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again, and I'm deciding on a new costume ;) Last year, I was a porn star, although everyone just thought I was a prostitute :P This year, I'm thinking of going as a sexy geisha or maybe a sexy schoolteacher with a ruler (good for punishing boys who've been bad) hehe :P I'm not sure yet. Any suggestions?

And this time, I'm bringing the camera. So, I will post pics this year ;)

Game Playing

2005-10-09T10:22:00.000-07:00

So after a short hiatus on dating, I'm back to it. But with dating comes all those stupid games, like how many days to wait before you call again, and the boy should pursue the girl, not the other way around. And even though I can see that these are stupid games, I get caught up in it.

Why can't two people just like each other? And then I get to thinking, what if he doesn't like me and it's not a game at all? What if I'm sitting here thinking he's playing "the game" and instead he's just not that into me? Or what if he is, but he thinks that I'm just not that into him?

It's so weird how we psyche ourselves out when dating. Why can't their be some sort of "last words" at the end of a date where you just say, "Hey, I am (am not) attracted to you. I do (don't) want to go out on a second date" Seriously, how much grief would this save us? We would never have to think about anything. No waiting for the phone to ring, wondering whether we made a good impression, no wondering whether we're attractive enough, etc.

But for now, I guess I'm going to have to wait by the phone. I'm expecting a call. I think :P

I'm the Worst

2005-10-05T13:43:00.000-07:00

I'm so sorry I haven't blogged for almost a month! I'm a terrible friend, blog buddy, intellectual booty call, or whatever I am to you :P There's so much that's gone on! So much drama and the like that there's too much to write down - so, I won't :P

But I will tell you my thought of the day today. I've been thinking that there really is someone for everyone. Whatever size or shape you are, you have romantic options just waiting for you...

For example:

Big women ---> big men, all types of lesbians

Hot men ---> hot women, other hot men :P

Ugly women ---> ugly men, open relationships

etc...

I know that is so non-PC, but you know it's true. :P So, the next time your friend belittles themselves and says "I'll never find anyone", just think of my list. ;)

If I had to write a personal ad...

2005-09-18T23:48:00.000-07:00

...this is what it would sound like:

"Dear potential suitor,

My name is Quyen and I'm an Asian female driver. However, because I'm 5'8", I can, in fact, see over the dash (yet, I still have close calls with running over pedestrians) :P Many people think I look like a sexy librarian or a naughty teacher or some other form of a "punish me for doing bad in school" fantasy girl. Rest assured, you will be punished for having done badly in school, but only because I can't tolerate stupid people ;)

I have a wide array of interests, from poetry to music to video games to nudity in my own home :D I'm pretty comfortable being who I am, which is to say amazingly funny, smart, sexy, and talented to name just a few :P But, keep in mind that I AM an Asian female driver and if you get on my bad side, I might just "accidentally" run you over. I'm kidding, of course. Right? Right?? ;)

As for what I'm looking for, that's hard to say. It seems that everyone I meet has some hidden sexual agenda - even if I just want to be friends (and yes, if I don't like you, I'll tell you that I want to be friends just to be polite). I'm just sick of meeting guys who fall too hard or not at all but still expect me to be the girl of THEIR dreams. Get real, and stop expecting people to bend over backwards for you just because you're not okay with taking more than 2 dates to get to know someone without expecting some kind of reciprocation of affection. We're not trusting, furry little animals. We're those problem-solving raptors from Jurassic Park that can see through your BS ;) Spare us.

As for how much money you make, I could care less. Because #1) I probably make more than you and #2) you really don't think I believe you're going to spend it on me, right? :P As for how well-endowed you are, there will always be an even bigger vibrator... WITH a spinning head! So, beat that! ;) As for how intelligent you are, or where you went to school, or how many awards you've received, companies you own, or properties you manage, keep you and your ego at home because I'd rather clean my toilet than listen to you talk about how great you are and how you think you're so much better than the rest of society.

All I want you to be is you. Especially if "you" is a big dork who doesn't have the slightest idea what he's doing in life. Cause let's face it: no one really does. We're all just floating around in life waiting for opportunities, as if they were trains you could catch to places you've never been. I can honestly say I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just on a train to somewhere I've never been. And so far, I'd rather sit alone. And if you're thinking about asking "if anyone is sitting there", just remember, I'm crazy.

Signed,

Your friendly, neighborhood, Asian female driver :)"

I have good news and I have bad news...

2005-09-12T10:17:00.000-07:00

The good news is that my quartet is freaking awesome! We play so well together and with so much energy and passion! We had a rehearsal on Sunday evening from 5 to 9PM. We chose several quartets to work on including:

Haydn - op. 9, no. 2
Mozart - K. 421
Mendohlssohn - op. 12
Debussy - Quartet

It's going to be a great program and I hope we can get into a lot of performance opportunities like convalescent homes, recitals at noon, and street playing to get some more experience playing together. Can you tell I'm uber-excited about all of this? :D

The bad news is that Chris' dad had 2 heart attacks yesterday and is currently in the hospital. Please send his dad your good vibes and best wishes. He's, like, the nicest guy in the whole world :) (You wouldn't even guess that he and Chris are related! hahahaha :P)

Goldberg Quartet

2005-09-09T12:23:00.000-07:00

The results are in on the Goldberg Quartet! :D The roster includes:

Edgar Sandoval - 1st violin
Crystal Alforque - 2nd violin
Quyen Nguyen - viola
Yoo-Jung Cheng - cello

This is EXACTLY how I wanted things to turn out! :D This semester, we'll be playing the Debussy String Quartet in g minor as well as a couple other quartets. There are plans to make a brochure with each of our pictures (this means I'm going to have to hire a professional photographer :P) including a short bio that we can use to advertise to the community :) I'm so excited! This quartet's roster is the best quartet the school has had in a very long time. Each of us has had extensive chamber music experience, been soloist with symphony orchestras, and are "high octane players" ;) I will post info on where our upcoming concerts will be. So hopefully, some of you can attend if you're in the area :)

Damn That Reverse Psychology

2005-09-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently, my conductor's plan to "get me out of my funk" is working. I've been feeling really excited about leading a section again. It's like it's all coming back to me again :D Last nite, I had major insomnia and stayed up till 5AM putting fingerings and bowings into parts! :o I know. I'm insane. :P

But it feels really good to be throwing myself into something headlong - even if I know it'll eventually exhaust my time and energy. Because of that, I've decided to take a break from Kung Fu for awhile. I may still practice on my own just to work out, but the weekly minimum time commitment of 6 hours is too much for right now. Not to mention the fact that it also costs about $65 in gas per month just to drive back and forth to class! Couple all that with the $100 it costs to be a member per month, and it ends up not being worth it with everything I have going on right now. :(

However, I was talking to my friend and he was saying that since Kung Fu was considered my leisure activity that I'd need something fun in my life to help balance out all the work and school. He's right. Without an outlet to unwind, I may go crazy. So, I've decided to try out for the Goldberg String Quartet. I've been a member once before, but it was a horrible experience because I was too immature and too much of a diva to really be a productive member of a string quartet. Maybe this time will be different. If there's one thing that surpasses my love of food, it's my love of chamber music :) Wish me luck! ;)

I'm Flattered, But Still...

2005-08-31T01:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I was walking to class and someone stopped me in the halls and said, "Congratulations!" I was like, "Um... congratulations for what?" And he's like, "You made principal!" OMFG... So, I go to the audition results board, and there's my name at the top of the viola section. Is this some kind of joke?

For those of you who don't know, to be a principal musician, whether it be flute or cello or trumpet, means you are usually the best or most capable player on your instrument, and/or you have exceptional leadership capabilities. I've been principal violist with nearly every orchestra I've worked with. However, ever since around my 3rd year in college, that desire to be #1 has died down in me; I'm much less competitive than I was when I was younger ;)

Being principal in your section takes alot of hard work, and with it, comes plenty of responsibility, most of which I haven't had to deal with in a few years. I specifically asked to be last chair before my audition because I knew it would be a lot of work trying to prepare for my senior recital without all the work that being principal would take. So, you can see why I was not only surprised but also betrayed when I saw my name up there.

I even tried to talk to the conductor by saying it would be unfair to the orchestra if I remained principal as I would not be able to devote myself fully to the section. He said he knew about my situation and talked to the other members in my section and they were all fine with that. WTF? This is a conspiracy! :P He also told the assitant principal that making me principal might "get me out of the funk" that I've been in. Anyway, I'm now principal viola in the college orchestra. And even though I'm feigning being very upset, I'm actually kind of proud of myself :)

Should I Quit?

2005-08-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

So, I started school at 9AM yesterday with a PolySci class, then went to a Musicianship class, and then to a Baroque performance practices class. I had a 45 minute break and then went to a Western Civ class, and then I had to run over to the music department to take a lesson with a new viola teacher they are thinking about hiring.

I have mixed opinions about the viola teacher. He gave some good tips on preparing orchestral excerpts, but he had a very narrow view on his Bach, and when he performed, I think he took too many liberties with the Mozart (considering it's Mozart :P) My conclusion: He has a nice viola :P

After the lesson, I prepared an audition for the orchestra, then went back home to change for kung fu and headed to my last class: Biology of Cancer. This class is so freaking scary, yet informative. I think everyone is going to get cancer and die. There are so many ways you can get it, even just by breathing in air on a ground level building! It's crazy. One day, they'll declare it an epidemic.

Anyway, here's the real reason I'm posting. I haven't been feeling like I want to go to Kung Fu anymore. It's just not fun for me anymore and the energy/vibe is not what it used to be. Usually, I can have a bad day and go to Kung Fu and I will feel better at the end. But lately, I still feel like shit at the end, even though I'm supposed to have tons of happy hormones swimming around in my brain :P This semester is going to be a tough one, and I don't know whether or not to quit Kung Fu?

It's the First Day of School Today

2005-08-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Ew.

Senior Recital

2005-08-25T13:00:00.000-07:00

So, to graduate as a music performance major, you must present a senior recital. A senior recital is basically a 90 minute showcase of solo pieces that is supposed to represent your best ability. Therefore, many senior recitals are littered with the hardest music for their chosen instrument. Also, a senior recital program must pass what is called a jury, where several professors sit down and listen to how polished your playing is and decide whether you're ready to present yourself to the public or not.

I haven't practiced in a year. And now, I'm totally freaking out because I have only 3 months before I present my program to my recital jury! :( I don't even know what I'm going to play, but I have an idea:

Bach - Suite No. 2 in d minor for solo viola
Walton - Concerto for viola and orchestra, mvmnts I and II
- intermission -
Brahms - Sonata in f minor for viola and piano
encore: Bruch - Romanze

The only problem is that this is probably not long enough of a program. I might have to add in another piece, but then that's just stretching it in terms of my practice time. Oh what to do? What to do? :(

The Dilly-O

2005-08-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

So, it's come to my attention that I haven't actually posted anything of substance in awhile :P So, here is a big long list of what's been going on in my life since my last non-poetry/non-picture post ;)

- Toasty, my ex-kitty who I gave to Chris after she got evicted from my apartment, came down with a 104.2 temperature and had to go to the vet. Apparently, she stopped eating for 2 weeks and was so dehydrated that they had to put her on an IV or she would have died :( I visited her a few days before this all went down and noticed her hair was really, really orange. Interestingly enough, the reason why it was so orange was because her body used the last remnants of water from her hair to stay alive! Poor baby :( I hear she's doing a little better, one day at a time.

- My mother just bought a new house in Prescott, Arizona. Apparently, she's going to move out there, and my sisters might go with her to open up a day spa (their life dream). They've asked me to become a massage therapist/esthetician and be part of the family business. However, just because my family is ridiculously entrepreneurial (they've opened up 6 businesses before) doesn't mean I'm going to go with them. I think I've found a home here in the Valley. Plus, I don't think I could just stop teaching and leave my kids. But, I have to admit, the thought does cross my mind whether to stay here or go with them...

- My new raise I got at work was put into effect and I make about $200 more per month than I used to :D With the extra money, I bought a new bedframe (previously, my mattress had been sitting on the floor) :P My apartment is really starting to come together, and redecorating has actually taken the place of dating in my life. In fact, I've lost most of my faith in men and finding someone who's both decent and compatible with me (more on this in a blog to come). On the financial downside, my rent got raised again :(

- I believe dancing is the best workout - EVER! :D I went dancing at The Avalon with one of my friends from kung fu. It's this big theatre on Hollywood and Vine that was renovated and turned into a dance club. I must have danced a little over 4 hours that nite :D Apparently, I was dancing pretty hard because the heel on my shoe broke within the first 10 minutes on the dancefloor :P But that didn't stop me, because I just tore the other one off and kept dancing hehehe ;) I haven't checked yet, but I swear I'm now 5 lbs. lighter! So now, I'm going to dancing at least once a month - you know, for the fitness aspect of it all ;)

Anyway, I think that about covers it. Oh yeah. School starts for me next week. So, I'll be super busy with getting my life in order around that time. It's a good thing that the classes that I teach ended this week. That way, I'll have some extra time to get used to my busy schedule before the nest set of classes start :)

Poetry with Quyen :D (Vol. 3)

2005-08-23T13:01:00.000-07:00

Bringing My Son to the Police Station to be Fingerprinted

By: Shoshauna Shy

My lemon-colored
whisper-weight blouse
with keyhole closure
and sweetheart neckline is tucked
into a pastel silhouette skirt
with side-slit vents
and triplicate pleats
when I realize in the sunlight
through the windshield
that the cool yellow of this blouse clashes
with the buttermilk heather in my skirt
which makes me slightly queasy
however

the periwinkle in the pattern on the sash
is sufficiently echoed by the twill uppers
of my buckle-snug sandals
while the accents on my purse
pick up the pink
in the button stitches

and then as we pass
through Weapons Check
it's reassuring to note
how the yellows momentarily mesh
and make an overall pleasing
composite

Peachy's 5 Questions :D

2005-08-17T12:34:00.000-07:00

I've asked Peachy to ask me any 5 questions she wanted, and I would post my responses on my blog. Without further ado, the "Big 5" ;)

1. If you had the option to attend a different college, what/where would it be, and why?

If I had the option to attend a different college, it would definitely have to be the Oberlin Conservatory in Ohio. I think it would have been better for my academic career had I been snowed into a practice room every once in awhile :P (Maybe I even would have graduated in 4 years!) Also, it would have given me a different perspective on living in a smaller city, and it would have forced me to make more friends as Oberlin is not a commuter school. Plus, I love the snow and would have had fun going snowboarding all the time during winter break :D

2. How old were you when you realized boys and girls were different?

I have a bad memory for things like this, and I'm not sure what this is implying :P But I guess I first realized they were sexually different (and compatible - wink wink :P) around the 3rd grade. My sister's boyfriend stole a book from his dad called "The Joy of Sex". It had all these pictures of naked men and women having sex. My friend and I found it one day, and the rest is history :P

3. What is your absolute favorite TV show (past or present)?

Hmnn... this is a tough one :P But I would have to say my all-time favorite TV show is the Golden Girls. I can sit down at any time (whether I'm angry, sad, depressed, happy, goofy, or horny :P) and have a good time watching it. It's the only show that I've come back to, time and time again, over the many years I've been watching it :)

4. How long have you been taking martial arts, and why did you sign up?

I've been taking Northern Shaolim Kung Fu since Novemeber of '04. So, I guess that makes it only about 9 months :P The reason why I started was a reaction to being hospitalized in September of '04 after getting OD'd from having my drink drugged in a club. After that near-death experience, I wanted to live life to its fullest and do all the things I had been putting off. So, the result of that was to go learn Kung Fu fighting fan and also not be so stingy with my money :P I've succeeded in both ;)

5. Whose blog do you read first when you sit down at the computer?

I love most of the blogs on my sidebar, and each has its role at different times depending on what mood I'm in. But I'd have to say the blog I click first the most is Adam's :)

If anyone else wants me to ask them 5 questions, leave your e-mail addy in the comments section :D

Goodbye, Glasses

2005-08-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

So, I've decided to finally take the plunge. I'm going to get contacts (again) :P The last time I got contacts, I was too lazy to wear them all the time and they made my eyes all red and dry. I don't expect this time to be different, but I guess I'm a little more comfortable with myself now than 5 years ago (By that, I mean I've always hated my nose and would use my glasses to hide it)

Five years later, lots of things have changed. I'm starting to accept various aspects of myself a lot more. I remember when I used to hate my feet because my toes were so long. But now, I don't really care what other people think of my feet, and I don't care anymore what people will think of my nose. So, the age of using my frames to hide my flaws is over :D It's like the older I get, the more I just begin to accept things. It's a comforting thing :)

P w/ Q, part 2 :D

2005-08-14T00:50:00.000-07:00

My Mother's Kitchen

A kettle whistle's cries
resounds off dull, black tiling.
Heavy curtains diffuse dusk
to recesses of the empty room.
He will not hear the kettle crying.
Here, untouched pots and pans hang
like unsought dreams
shining brilliantly in the faint light.
They hang above the kettle
where the steam forms wet droplets
like tears dampening polished, cold metals.
The kettle is my mother.
It is in my father’s house.

Time to Redecorate! :D

2005-08-11T18:06:00.000-07:00

I've been on this redecorating kick lately. Today, I bought $60 in couch cushions, alone. Yes, you heard right. Apparently, my current couch cushions weren't good enough :P So, I got these faux doe-skin pillows in an ashy sky blue and muted turquoise. They are super soft and are perfect for cuddling :)

There's no real reason I'm redecorating. I'm just trying to create a more beautiful space to come home to :) Right now, I'm concentrating on the living room. I've been trying to make the living room look more like a trendy lounge than a starving student's apartment. I've already put up a large, circular mirror, framed a signed poster I got from E3, added some candle arrangements, and have added the finishing touches on my white couches with the pillows I got today :D

I think my next project after the living room will either be the kitchen or the bathroom. For the kitchen, I already bought some fun new martini glasses, a couple old fashioned's, and a fancy wood chopping block. All I need now is a new set of silverware and some trendy dinnerware ;) For the bathroom, I want to get one of those shelf organizers that sit over the toilet lid and go up to the ceiling. I already went shopping for a new showerhead yesterday which set me back another $60 :( But at least I don't have to worry about the shower head getting clogged and soap running into my eyes while I try to fix it anymore :P hehehe

On a sadder note, I now weigh 170 lbs :( I seriously need to stop eating like crap *sigh*

Poetry with Quyen :D

2005-08-10T01:45:00.000-07:00

Two Trees

Two trees watched one mild June evening
as the skies' colors changed at dusk.
The first, unto the second, spoke of love.
"Love... love," whispered the tree,
"Love wanes, like the setting summer sky."
The second replied, "I cannot explain this, but it is true.
Love fills this forest... even now."

Two trees laid in the shade of night
anticipating the light of harvest morning.
The first, unto the second, spoke of love.
"Love... love," called the tree,
"Love fails and falls, like the leaves of Autumn."
The second replied, "I cannot explain this, but it is true.
Love could fill this forest... even now."

Two trees, bare against the frost of winter, shivered in the wind.
The first, unto the second, spoke of love.
"Love... love," urged the tree,
"Love is fleeting; a flurry, like snow."
The second replied, "I cannot explain this, but it is true.
Love might fill this forest... even now."

Two trees rejoiced in the fauna and flora of spring.
The first, unto the second, spoke of love.
"Love... love," cried the tree,
"Love is hopeful, for love has filled this forest all along."
The second replied, "I cannot explain this, but it is true.
Love cannot fill this forest... even now."

Pictures! :D

2005-08-04T09:22:00.000-07:00

Sorry for not having posted in such a long time. First of all, I went to Vegas over the weekend (again :P), and then I went and bought two videogames that I've been playing nonstop! :P However, I did manage to get my pics developed. So, without further ado... the slideshow ;) Enjoy! :D

"VEGAS - TAKE ONE"

Here's me in my hotel during my first trip to Vegas. God damn, I'm tall :P

This is my mom (aka "Hot Momma" :P). She's 60 y/o. Yes, I'm going to age well :P

This is me posing with my $400 jackpot! :D Somehow, my double Grey Goose on the rocks didn't make it into the pic :P

"BETWEEN VEGAS TRIPS"

Hot boys love coming over to my place ;)

Jesse, Edgar, and myself drinking and playing video games on a Thursday afternoon.

Looking at this pic, I really can't believe I'm 165 lbs. :P

"VEGAS - TAKE TWO"

Disclaimer: I actually went because one of my good friends from high school was getting married! :D So, what does a good friend do to help celebrate? Road trip it to Vegas, baby! :D

My friend's wedding was beautiful. Here's me standing on a bridge overrunning a small stream.

Awwwwwww... Don't we look good together? :D Carlo is one of my best friends from high school.

Behind me is the gazebo where they did their vows. It really was a beautiful setting. :)

BS Fridays

2005-07-29T11:38:00.000-07:00

This is an idea borrowed from YB and Peachy :) You have to guess whether the story is true or false. Happy guessing! :D

I suppose it was my sophmore year in college and I got in touch with this composer who was putting on a solo concert at the biggest Catholic church in LA. Apparently, he led a choir (he called it the "Choir of the Worlds") all across the world singing his compositions and even wrote a grammy award winning song for Mariah Carey! :D

Well, I got to the church and the concert started. We played a bunch of songs with the choir and then the composer breaks out in a piece for solo guitar and voice. I've never heard such an amazing and beautiful male voice in my life! He was seriously better than Andrea Bocelli! :P

But I guess you want to know about my celebrity sighting... Well, in the audience in the third row, right in front of me, was Nicholas Cage! :D He was with a bunch of people including his mother who called him by his nickname - Nicky :P hahaha ;)

You Guys are Scary :P

2005-07-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's what I've decided:

- If I leave college now, I'll have to start repaying my loans, and if I already can't afford to go to college now, then I REALLY won't be able to afford going to college while also repaying my school loans.

- I talked to the professor that I had the scheduling conflict with and he told me that he'd make an exception just for me and just for this semester (I have to take the same class every semester), and I already cleared up the scheduling problem with my boss for the Spring semester. So, there shouldn't be anymore unexpected scheduling problems.

- As for the burnout, you guys are soooooo right! I would never end up going back to school :( So, it's better if I just stick it out now.

So, today, I'm going to lift my last registration hold at the library and just suck it up and register for classes. Even though it will be hard finding the money to pay for all of this stuff, it sounds like the alternative will be even harder.

Good job. You have successfully scared me back into school :P High school and college drop-out programs should hire you guys ;) No, really. Thanks for the advice... you scary mo fo's :P

To break or not to break?

2005-07-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

I only have 2 more semesters before I finish my degree, but I've been thinking of taking a semester off from college. The reasons are the following:

- I'm a fifth year senior and I received no financial aid or grants for school this year. I still have to talk to the financial aid office at my school about how I can finance my education. Maybe I can work something out.

- There's a scheduling problem between my work and one of the classes I'm required to take. Because I survive solely off my job and would be using it to pay my college tuition, work is my first priority.

- I've been burned out on school for awhile now. I just feel like getting this degree isn't necessarily enriching my life as much as it's just an exercise in "jumping through the hoops", and I hate tedium.

The reasons why I would stay in school are because I'd have to start paying back my college loans, and I just want to get it done and over with already... *sigh* Do you guys have any advice?

Links

2005-07-26T10:47:00.000-07:00

I'll be updating the links in my sidebar. So, if you want to be linked up, let me know :) As always, the "regulars" will be linked ;)

Glamour

2005-07-25T16:58:00.000-07:00

Glamour is defined as "an air of compelling charm, romance, and excitement, especially when delusively alluring." Ever since I started this blog, my life has been decidedly glamorous: late nites, dirty dancing, strong drinks and careless romance. I wanted something different than what I had experienced the past 2 years. Everything seems so exciting: the attention, the loud music, the bright lights, the sheer audaciousness of it all. You're so over-stimulated that you hardly have time to think. And when you do think, it's like a tunnel. It's not, "What am I going to be doing next year?" It's "What am I gonna do next weekend?" It's so easy to get caught up in planning your life around other people and other events and subconsciously trying to create your own events from theirs. But at the end of the day, you grew a little smaller, you thought a little bit less, and the only thing waiting for you tomorrow is another party, another guy, and another drink.

I just got done watching an amazing Kurosawa film called, "Dreams". It's a montage of artfully done dream segments that weave themselves together into a surreal landscape that makes you think of things in a different way (and by different, I mean romanticized). It speaks of less complicated times and more virtuous values. And above all, it makes you think about the world we're creating for ourselves. And it made me think of my life and the directions I'm heading in, and I've decided that this is not the type of glamour I want to personify. I don't want my life to be cast in a series of dates and club events, but rather, I'd like it to be set in accomplishments and living well.

And I start to find that glamour can be the dangerous, sexy, and exciting girl I am now. But glamour can also be the intelligent, composed, compassionate girl I was before. As my friend, D'Amato, says, "Glamour is as glamour does", and whether I'm dancing and drinking it up in a club with cute boys or sitting at home typing up a thoughtful blog, glamour isn't about what you do, but how you do it. In fact, it's inside us, waiting to "wow" our most important critic - ourselves.

VEGAS

2005-07-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

OMG...

Vegas was AMAZING! (and I never use caps) :P

I drank like a fish! My "drink" this weekend was a double Grey Goose on the rocks with extra lime. I drank so many of those that I had hangovers in the middle of the day. I got so toasted that even though I wanted to leave the table, I had to keep gambling because if I had gotten out of my seat, I would have fallen. I drank so much that it even stopped tasting like alcohol! One time, I had them bring it back because I told them it tasted like water with lemon. My liver hates me right now :P

On Sunday nite, I went to go see Celine Dion! Yay! :D We had the best seats too - 3rd row from the stage! :D The show was amazing! Celine Dion is one of the most amazing vocalists of our time and can do things with her voice that no one else can. The dancers and musicians were amazing and Dion gave a stellar performance. It was actually so beautiful that I sat there in my seat and cried! Sitting there crying in my corset top and strawberry daquiri... There were tons of hot male dancers and the one I was totally eyeing the whole show came down into the audience and started dancing with me! Swoon! :D

On Monday morning (okay, it was more like afternoon since it was 2PM, but it was morning for me because I went to sleep at 7AM the night before :P), I woke up, washed my face, and went down to play poker (you know you're a gamble-holic when you won't even brush your hair or teeth before hitting the tables again :P) Well, I met this cute guy, and he was totally flirting with my tore up self. So, I made a date with him for 11PM that nite.

In an effort to not look like shit again, I got all glammed out for our "...stays in Vegas" date :P We ended up hitting Rum Jungle and The Foundation Room at Mandalay Bay. I got so many compliments on my dancing, and other guys were giving my guy a thumbs up on me the whole nite. The best part was that not only was my guy a good dancer, but he was a freak on the dance floor! We would be grinding and he'd reach behind my neck, grab a handful of my hair in his fist, and pull my head to the side and bite my neck. So fucking hot. I found out later that he was a Marine. I guess what they say is true. Marines really are only good for two things - fighting and fucking ;)

All in all, the weekend was amazing. I hit a $400 jackpot on the quarter slots, played Hold 'Em poker for the first time at a casino, drank more liquor than I thought I could handle, now have a surplus on my "male attention meter" (:P) and (for the first time in my life) cried because something was so utterly beautiful. :D

I Hate Trying on Bikinis!

2005-07-15T13:04:00.000-07:00

I fucking hate it! >:(

I never realized how out of shape I was and how splotchy my skin is. I think I might even have some cellulite :( I swear. The florescent lights in those stores have to be the WORST lighting ever for looking in a mirror.

The reason I was trying on bikinis is because I'm going to Vegas, and I'll be staying until Tuesday. I'm going to see Celine Dion! Whoo-hoo! :D You can be sure I'll also be playing plenty of Pai Gow, and hopefully, I'll do a little dancing and maybe get a tan if I have some time ;)

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! :D

I'm getting antsy...

2005-07-13T14:00:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously in the mood to take some new pictures, but this time, I want to try something more daring ;) With all the Kung Fu weapons I've been accumulating, I've been leaning towards a "Women of Kung Fu Calender" type project. It would feature hot girls in compromising positions posing with one of the 18 classical Shaolin weapons! :D

Just imagine, Miss January is featured running a cool pair of nunchukas across her toned tummy, while Miss February shields her nipples from view with the steel fan. March features Miss January and Miss February duking it out in bikinis and April shows them getting down and dirty with the nunchukas - a la two sided dildo ;) Are ya feelin' it? ;)

Kung Fu Kitty

2005-07-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

In the past week, one very good thing has happened to me and one very bad thing has happened to me (there's some more news in the relationship department, but it's not ready for press yet :P)

The bad thing that happened was that I was given an ultimatum: I could be evicted or get rid of my cat, Toasty. Sadly, I had to get rid of her, but I didn't want to take her to San Diego where she'd be sold off on Cragslist by my mom or drop her off at the pound :( So, I gave her to Chris who I knew would take good care of her. I miss her alot. The night that I came back from dropping her and all her stuff off at Chris' place, I sat in my car and cried before going inside. When I got inside, there were all these places where her food used to be and her litterbox, and it broke my heart to see all the empty spaces. And when I laid down in bed at nite, I felt her little cat paws next to my head on my pillow, except no one was there but me. That was the dealbreaker... So, the next morning, I decided to rearrange my furniture to help keep my mind off of her absence. Now my place looks fun and modern! :D Chris says she's doing well, although a little depressed and is not eating. :( Maybe I'll have to go visit her soon.

The good thing that happened was that I was at kung fu class last nite and my Sifu gave me a sword! (well, actually, I had to buy it for $25, but that's beside the point :P) So, I am now learning 3 weapons: 2-section staff (nunchukas), steel fan, and straight sword :D Pretty soon, I'm gonna give Adam a run for his money ;)

I'm 22! :D

2005-07-06T13:46:00.000-07:00

On Friday nite, the guy I'm dating (we'll call him O' since he's Irish) took me out for a celebration dinner. He knows I love Italian food. So, he took me to this really trendy Italian restaurant in Pasadena called Mi Piace. I had this amazing martini called a Zentini which uses Green Tea liquer! Now, I'm on a quest to find Green tea liquer :P Afterwards, he took me up into the mountains to look out over LA and watch the stars :)

On Saturday nite, I arrived in San Diego and got ready to go clubbing at On Broadway, a premier nightclub in SD. I saw all sorts of old friends and even some guys from my kung fu class down there! I got so drunk! Everyone was buying me birthday shots, and I must admit, my new favorite shot is a Scooby Snack ;) I totally fell on the dance floor like 4 times! Can we say party foul? :P But at least I took the guy I was dancing with down with me bwahahaha :P We eventually had to leave because some drunk guy pinned me up against a wall and started licking my boobs! :( Then, when some guys pulled him off of me, he kept following me around. Scary! On a lighter note, that guy from kung fu told me that he can never think of me the same way again :P Apparently, he thought my corset top was "hot" ;)

On Sunday, I went shopping for new clothes and went clubbing later that nite to the Onyx Room. It wasn't as fun or posh as On Broadway, but I still had fun :) Apparently, I dance like a go-go dancer :P So, here's a tip: If you want me to dance on you like you're a pole at a strip club, buy me a double Grey Goose on the rocks! ;) Afterwards, we had some Mexican food at this total pickup joint. There was even a guy on crutches who was winking at me and asking me to come sit with him. Apparently, not even a broken leg keeps some people from the clubs :P

On Monday, my mom BBQ'd and my cousins came over to help celebrate. We played Donkey Konga 2 and Cranium all day :P It was so much fun. For my Bday, I got a lot of cute new clothes, like 10 bottles of premium liquor to add to the bar I'm trying to start, a modern art sculpture, money, and a lollipop from my extremely poor older sister :P

Now that I'm back in LA, I have to go see all of my friends and claim all my presents from them :P I wonder what they all got me :P

Happy Birthday, Quyen! :D

2005-07-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

So, my Bday is on July 4th (What can I say? I'm a firecracker :P) and I'm leaving for San Diego tomorrow after work. I'll be 22 y/o! Can you believe it? I'm still a baby :P I'll be staying in SD until Tuesday. So, I hope everyone has a fun and safe 4th of July weekend :)

BTW, I'll be going clubbing for the first time since last time. Let's just hope nothing dramatic happens this time ;) I know one thing for sure - I'm getting fucked up in the car before I go in :P Have fun! :D

A Few Things

2005-06-30T14:16:00.000-07:00

First, I wanted to respond to Peachy's question about my compulsive lying. First of all, I try not to lie on my blog. Things I will do are change names to protect people's identities, leave out information, or paint things in more a flattering light. After all, who wants to look like a jerk on their own blog? :P So, rest assured, I divulge a lot about who I am and what I do to all of you. If there's any lying being done, it's usually in the form of not giving all the details. Then again, you really aren't interested in how many eyebrow hairs I plucked today, right? ;)

Second, I want to address the anonymi by not allowing anonymous comments anymore.

Third, I'd like to address a few notable people who have been posting in my comments section lately:

TMAnon - I'm very offended that you'd offer up details of my life to others that may or may not be true. It's disrespectful, and I'd appreciate it if you would stop. Thanks.

Jay (aka EM-50) - It's been 2 years since I've last seen or talked to you. Let it go already. And if you won't let it go, be a man about it and meet me for coffee, face to face, and discuss things like an adult, not a kid throwing rocks, hiding behind a "bush" of anonymity. If you really need resolution, come to the source and get it. Don't go behind my back and "compare notes" with Chris. And if you really think you're justified in "getting revenge" by defacing me on my blog with your random comments, just remember that I was only 18 y/o when I was dealing with your evil ex-wife and taking care of your 3 y/o son. What were you dealing with when you were 18? Dirty laundry? The worst part was that you never protected me from any of it. You only pushed me in further and further, and I did my best to help you. Everyone has a breaking point, and I had to leave. Why don't you respect my decision and let me live my life in peace? You're 36 y/o now. Act like it.

Chris - Thanks for always standing up for me and protecting me. You've been really coming through for the both of us lately. I appreciate the warmth and understanding you've tried to display at this time in your life which I know is excruciating for you to deal with. I only hope that things get better and better for you. I wish you the best that people and life has to offer :)

I think...

2005-06-29T14:14:00.000-07:00

I think I'm falling for him... :)

The Longest Date EVER

2005-06-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

I just went on the longest first date in the history of mankind. It lasted around 40 hours total with only bathroom breaks inbetween! That's right - forty... AND (you should be proud of me :P) no sex occurred within this time at all ;) So, what do two people do on a first date that lasts for 40 hours but doesn't involve sex? Let me tell you... :)

The date officially started on Saturday at 8PM. When he knocked on the door, I was still naked! :P So, I had to make him wait outside for a minute while I threw my clothes on. When I finally opened the door, I felt a little flustered and nervous because my place was a mess (as it always is) and because I was unprepared for his arrival. But there he was in front of me - all 6'6" of him ;) I gave him a hug for making him stand outside waiting for me and invited him in while I got my purse together. I turned to get my keys on the counter and when I turned around to ask him where he wanted to eat, he had a bouquet of stargazer lillies in his hand and held them out to me :D My heart about melted - I was so flattered. :) Stargazer lillies are my absolute favorite flowers, and I rarely get flowers from boys. Score one point for bringing me flowers on the first date :)

We went to dinner at a Benihana style place where they cook your food in front of you on hibachi tables. He did all of the gentlemanly things: opened my doors for me, pulled out my chair, let me walk in front of him, and even let me show him some Japanese table manners :) I later learned he went to the male equivalent of a finishing school to learn dining, dancing, and business etiquette. Score one point for going to etiquette school (I love a guy with good manners!). Score another point for actually using what he learned. ;)

After that, he took me to the first live band concert I've ever been to in my entire life. It was exciting and fun, and I just felt so comfortable with him already that I didn't mind it when he took my hand. In fact, he took my hand during a ballad. Score one point for perfect timing :)

We got back to my place, and by that time, it was late and I almost didn't want the nite to end. We played Gamecube and drank mudslides for awhile. Then, I got bored and just wanted to talk. We talked until dawn. He told me I'm beautiful. Score one point for being a gamer. Score another for boosting my ego :)

After 3 hours of sleep, we got up and went to a Greek restaurant for lunch. While we were sitting there, I looked up and felt it was such a beautiful day that we should go do something before he went back. We decided on the Getty museum and spontaneously picked up and left. Score one point for being easy-going and spontaneous :)

After we got back from the Getty, we were so tired. So, we decided to take a nap. Once we awoke, we were bored. So, we decided to watch Garden State. It was a great movie and I highly recommend it! :) Eventually, we got hungry. And he was totally down to go out to another restaurant. But I didn't want him to spend anymore money. So, I told him I'd cook dinner for the both of us. As I was getting everything prepared, he told me he wanted to cook alongside me. I blushed. Usually, a guy will just sit on the couch and play video games while I play domestic goddess. But he wanted to really learn how to cook and help me. Again, I was flattered. So, I put him to work on the Bolognese sauce and the Mudslides ;) I think it was the best penne Bolognese I've ever eaten. Score another point for teamwork in the kitchen :) When we were done cooking, we popped in Amelie and relaxed on the couch. We never finished the movie because we got tired. But that nite, I finally decided I wanted to kiss him on the lips. Score a point for not pushing me to be intimate and being patient.

All this brings us to this morning. We ate the leftovers from last nite while watching the ending of Amelie, and then we just laid there and cuddled. He ended up leaving today - Monday at 12 noon.

So, there you have it. That's what a 40 hour date consists of. We joked that we actually went on the equivalent of 3 or 4 dates. :P I really had a great time! And now, for some reason, I don't have the desire to go out and schedule tons of dates with tons of different people. For some reason, I want to see where this goes. Could it be that I'm taken with him?

I got the hookups!

2005-06-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

So, I've been networking and I've been meeting a lot of other professionals. It's nice being able to trade random skills like violin lessons for say, bodywork by a certified massage therapist, or tarot card lessons for say, hypnotism :D I feel like Adam, except I'm actually really excited to be hypnotized! I told him I wanted to cure my compulsive lying. So, we'll see how that goes! ;)

I've been thinking of investing in some more kongas for my Donkey Konga games. So, when I have Gamecube parties, we all have a konga instead of just sitting around one konga and assigning each person a role (I was "clap" last time :P) I swear... Gamecube is the BEST system when you're drunk! hahaha :P Everyone has the slowest reaction times! I once played Halo 2 on Xbox while I was drunk, and my friend said, "Wow. This is like watching a retarded person in a battle royale." >:( The Xbox is so confusing! That's why I like the Gamecube. All you have to do is hit one button as fast as you can hehehe :P Plus, all the pretty colors are nice :P

I'm addicted to homemade Mudslides... mmmmmmmmmm... chocolatey, frothy goodness ;) They're like Frosty's from Wendy's... but alcoholic :P

"Miss Quyen"

2005-06-23T13:43:00.000-07:00

Classes started this week at the performing arts school I work at, and I'm teaching 8 classes during this 10-week session (2 of them got cancelled for under-enrollment) as well as private lessons. So far, 2 of my classes are completely full (with waiting lists!) :D That means I'll make $42+ per 50 minute class! ;) I love teaching classes because there's a huge opportunity to make more money than I would normally. It's a lot more taxing because you have to raise your voice, make sure everyone is getting the material, have an agenda, and stand and walk the whole time. But you also get to impact many lives at the same time. Plus, they call me "Miss Quyen" and hug me around the hips like I'm an elementary school teacher :P hehehe

In dating news, meeting different people has really opened up my eyes. Usually, I date very cleancut looking guys - tall, slim, conservative, hair parted to the side... you get the picture ;) But I went on this great date with a guy with tattoos all over his body - even his face and neck! I loved it! I never thought I would; I thought I'd be grossed out and turned off, but he was totally normal and fun :D Not to mention hot ;) Meow.

Here's another thing I never thought I'd like - metrosexuality. I think it's totally hot when a guy colors his hair or keeps his nails looking manicured. Even hotter is when a guy will shave his cock or pluck his eyebrows... but the hottest thing is when a guy is comfortable enough with his sexuality to wear eyeliner! I never thought that would be hot until my friend, Matt, sent me this pic... (No, I'm not dating him, but isn't he a cutie? :D)

Oh yeah, I love that messy, scraggly hair look, too ;) Meow.

How Fitting...

2005-06-21T10:58:00.000-07:00

Take the quiz: "what kind of drug are you? (includes pictures)"

xtc.
you are xtc.amazing, wild, sexy and young.

Get to Know... Quyen! :D

2005-06-17T10:07:00.000-07:00

If you're reading this, you are hereby forced to post your own "Get to Know..." post on your own blog! :P I got this one from Jenn ;)

10 REALLY RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME

1. I used to play Magic the Gathering, competitively
2. I've always wanted platinum blonde hair ;)
3. I used to be a professional tarot card reader
4. I never in my life thought I'd become a teacher, but I'm so glad I did :)
5. I'm incredibly self-conscious about my physical appearance
6. I've had musicial compositions premiered by symphony orchestra
7. I have at least 8 evening gowns that I've never worn in my life because I've never been anywhere fancy enough to wear them, but I still keep them in my closet, hoping that I will
8. I am unable to "sleep in" - I naturally wake up between 8 and 9 without an alarm clock :(
9. I once considered becoming a professional escort (thankfully, I decided on college, instead :P)
10. Even more than getting head, I love giving head ;)

9 WAYS TO WIN MY HEART

1. Tell me I'm beautiful
2. Always have a big surprise waiting for me... in your pants :P
3. Love to hug and hold me
4. Be a good kisser and love to kiss me
5. Have an incredible sense of humor and be silly, sarcastic, and witty at all the right times
6. Do something sweet and adorable in a lustful and passionate moment (like saying you just want to cuddle when I'm just about to go down on you :P)
7. Bring me my favorite flowers: Stargazer Lillies - they're only $5 a bouquet ;)
8. Cook me a homemade meal or work side by side with me in the kitchen
9. Be intelligent and able to stimulate not only my body but my mind as well

8 THINGS I CARRY/WEAR EVERYDAY

1. "Wet Your Whistle" chapstick from Bath & Body Works
2. "Emollience" moisturizer from SkinCeuticals
3. A thong ;)
4. Giorgio Armani glasses
5. My purse that looks like a doctor's bag
6. An "ouchless" elastic hair tie or hair clip
7. Packing tape
8. My credit card :P

7 THINGS THAT ANNOY ME

1. People who don't look you in the eye when they talk to you
2. Being scratched by my cat
3. Bad kissers! >:(
4. Bad drivers! >:(
5. Guys who are completely silent in bed (no moaning or dirty talk)
6. Waking up after a nap all sticky and sweaty :(
7. People who talk on their cell phones while they're on a date

6 PLACES I'VE VISITED

1. Florence, Italy
2. Vienna, Austria
3. Meiringen, Switzerland - I want to retire here someday! :D
4. London, England
5. Tijijuana, Mexico - bwahahahaha ;)
6. Vatican City (no, I'm not Catholic :P)

5 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Learn to play 7-string bass viola da gamba well enough to play all of Marin Marais' Pieces de Viole
2. Publish a book of my writing, whether it be on pedagogy, a novel, or my poetry
3. Tour with a String Quartet
4. Get married and raise children
5. See more of the world

4 THINGS I'M AFRAID OF

1. Getting old
2. Ghosts and spirits
3. Scary movies and scary video games :P
4. Dying with regrets

3 THINGS I DO EVERYDAY

1. Play Utopia
2. Wash my face
3. Feed my cat

2 THINGS I'M TRYING NOT TO DO NOW

1. Compulsively lie all the time
2. Constantly eat unhealthy foods

1 PERSON I WANT TO SEE NOW

1. Chris :\

I'm Self-Conscious

2005-06-16T09:27:00.000-07:00

Ever since Grace posted her "What Blogger Am I?" post, I've been self-conscious about posting anything else. I mean, I know it was a spoof of my writing style, but then I gotta think: How over the top IS my writing style? I keep reading it over and over again thinking, "Wow. People must think I'm ridiculous with my smileys and exclamation marks and rhetorical questions! hahahaha Not to mention the "sexy" pics I post and blatant sexuality that comes across in my writing :P Kudos to Grace for having the balls to go outside and go take "sexy" pics ;) Meow. Grace has got it going on! I think this calls for some rice on rice action, don't you think? :P

What Blogger Am I?

2005-06-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

1. Was so uncreative that I resorted to using this format instead of "Erotica with Quyen Pt 2"
2. Went into work for only an hour
3. Laughed at the inside joke my coworker made when she said her "wrist hurt"
4. Told her that my wrist hurt, too
5. Laughed at the people who didn't know what we were laughing about because they didn't realize we were perverts
6. Watched my girlfriend burn our dinner
7. Listened to my friend's roomate have sex
8. Reenacted a silent film scene with the roomate's sex as my soundtrack
9. Stepped on my cat
10. Realized my days aren't as exciting as I thought they were

Fart Flavor of the Day: Macaroni and Cheese and Apricot

Shopping!

2005-06-14T12:50:00.000-07:00

Today, I woke up and decided to make a short trip to the bank to deposit my check, and then to PetCo to use this coupon I had for a free bag of Eukanuba cat food. Well, I picked up the cat food and then saw a sale for the wet food. Then, I saw a sale on the cat litter. Then, fuck it; I picked up a fuzzy cat toy. You ever have those trips where you go in for one thing and you come out with like ten more things? And sometimes, you have those trips where you go in for one thing and leave with ten things, except the thing you came in for is not one of those ten things? That's the worst.

Anyway, I decided to stop at Marshall's too to see if they had a cute bathmat and toilet seat cover (I tried washing mine in a washing machine and they totally fell apart!) So, I didn't get the bathmat or the toilet seat cover :( But I did get a 440 thread count queen sheet set, a matching set of four pillowcases, a kitchen floor rug, and a space rug for the bedroom :P

I did notice one thing today, though. You know those packages of men's briefs and wife beaters that have the amazingly hot male models with toned bodies and no heads? You know, the ones where they have the sock stuffed down the front? :P I LOVE THOSE! I was sitting in Marshall's picking them up and looking at the pictures hahahaha If I had a b/f, I would make him buy them for himself and then steal the cardboard inserts and hide them under the matress :P That way, if I ever need eye candy, I don't have to go to Marshall's ;)

Erotica With Quyen

2005-06-10T12:55:00.000-07:00

So, I was just cleaning up the last of the living room and I found this book that my friend from work lent me called Aqua Erotica. The reason why it's called Aqua Erotica is two-fold: 1) every story is somehow related to water and 2) the pages are waterproof. How fucking awesome is waterproof erotica? You can do all sorts of naughty things to it, then wipe it down and put it back on the coffee table! bwahahaha :P

Anyway, I was reading one of these stories about this woman who was forced to suck this guy's "fuck staff" ;) And then he started strangling her until she blacked out... Then she woke up and she realized that she came all over the bed... from being strangled! Okay... so here's the weird part. I totally got turned on! Is that wrong? I know all women have the rape fantasy to some degree, but this was like real rape. I couldn't believe she orgasmed from being strangled! It makes me wonder if I'd orgasm if I were strangled? Let's not find out... :P

Anyway, I have a serious manhandling fetish. I don't like being hit or beaten, but I like it when a guy picks me up and throws me on the bed and then has his way with me. What can I say? I like being submissive... and no, that has nothing to do with me being Asian :P I also like it when a guy is so horny that he whips it out and starts stroking for me, or when he tells me to get down on my knees and suck his cock. It's that kind of raw, selfish masculinity that really makes me go wild. ;)

Go, Quyen! Go!

2005-06-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, I think this breakup thing works in stages (Quick! Someone write another book!) I've started to try to actively get out of the house more. Whether it's a date or a friend who wants to catch a late dinner, I'm there - even if I have to drive (and I hate driving). What I'm starting to realize is that Los Angeles really is a wonderful city. There's so much to do here. So many people to meet. So much great food to eat! :D hehehe

I never knew how much existed outside of my apartment or even just the city of Northridge! A couple nites ago, I went to Manhattan Beach for the first time in my life. I'm starting to realize that Denny's isn't the only place to eat late. All this time, I've just been so embittered that I had to come to Los Angeles for college. I hated the pollution and the traffic and the people. But now, I finally see what's out here, and I realize why so many people love LA so much. It's like I'm opening my eyes for the first time since I've moved here! :P

I can't believe I stayed cooped up in the "safety" of my apartment for such a long time. Even though I'm getting into trouble, I'm having fun. I'm enjoying getting to know new people and making new friends. I finally get that saying about working hard and playing hard. And God... it feels so good to play hard ;)

I just want to cuddle...

2005-06-07T11:09:00.000-07:00

Okay. So, I realize now that I'm in that stage after the breakup where I'm craving human touch. I'm seriously about to rape my pillow. It's not that horny feeling that I usually get, either. It's this insatiable need to be held and comforted and feel like I'm being taken care of.

I rework the scenario in my head every nite before I fall asleep... I'm laying in bed in my cotton bra and thong. The sheets feel so soft and the night air has just enough cold in it to make it sting. That's when he presses his body against mine from behind... nestling his growing hardness between my ass cheeks. He pulls me close, wrapping his arm around my torso, right underneath my breasts. His other hand strokes my head, tracing my layered black hair cascading down my body. I press back into him, closing the gap so every inch of my skin is pressing against his. He starts to smell my hair, taking in my scent, which makes me go wild. I love it when a man is intoxicated by me.

He brushes my hair away, revealing my bare neck and starts kissing it. It's the kind of kiss that is gone before you realize it's there, the kind you can only return if you playfully flick your tongue back, hoping to catch his lips before they're gone. I moan, gently and affectionately, and his kisses turn into tender bites on my skin. I feel his hand run along the side of my body, encircling my breast, down my side, dipping at my waist, then up my hips, and down my thigh. I place my hand on his and guide it up then down and back again, letting him feel everything. He slips his fingers underneath the strap of my thong, and just when I think he's about to touch me, he playfully snaps my thong, leaving a teasing sensation on the inside of my hip.

I turn around, smiling a mischievious smile, like I already know what I'm going to do to get him back. But before I can enact my plan, he pulls me close, strokes my face and tells me I'm beautiful. I melt. I take his jaw in my palm and his ear in my fingertips and I press my lips against his; they are so soft. He kisses back, more eager and excited, then pulls me on top of his body. My palms are resting against his chest, half supporting me, half pushing him away. But my lips and tongue want nothing more than to taste all of him.

I start kissing his chest, running my fingernails down his ribs, tickling him. He pulls my arms down to the side and leans forward for a kiss. I force him back down, straddling him, and get him to free my wrists. My mouth goes straight for his nipples as I feel him arch his back a little. I love it, being in control of his body. It turns me on. I gently bite my way down his torso, which makes him convulse into tiny, miniscule orgasms, making my way down to his throbbing shaft. I wrap my lips around it, through his boxers, and watch him look at my audacity. Then, I nuzzle his balls with my nose, and mock-lick them through the fabric. And just when my fingers are rolling down his boxers, ready to reveal his fuck staff, he pulls me up, kisses me, and says, "I just want to cuddle..."

Finally! It's over! :D

2005-06-06T06:57:00.000-07:00

So, for the past month, I've been stressing out about presenting my first student showcase recital. As many of you know, I teach viola, violin, cello, and piano at a private performing arts school. Because we are the premiere arts school in the area, there are certain aspects that put us a cut above the rest. One of those things is showcase recitals. We are required, by signed contract, to put together a showcase of our students and present them to the public. Since the quality of the recital is something that can affect your future pay scale (as well as be a vehicle for getting fired), it was extremely important for me to show the school my worth as both a teacher and performer. And as the "new kid on the block", I had to prove myself to the other faculty as well.

I've spent the last couple of months preparing my students for this recital. From picking out repertoire to teaching them recital etiquette to polishing their pieces and so on. It's important to have your students play well because they are representing you as a teacher as well as your effectiveness as a teacher. So, needless to say, I've been very stressed out.

Well, the recital was this past Saturday, and I have to admit it's all a blur to me now. I messed up on my intro speech, the kids forgot when to leave their seat to come perform next so I had to ask the manager to help me micro-manage them, and in my performance, there was a huge page-turning blunder... BUT it all went well and reasonably smoothly! I got complimented many times on my performance, as well as my students' performances. The dean of the school was very pleased at the professional quality that my recital had. She specifically noted how nice it was to sit there and just see students do everything like clockwork without prompting. So, I hope this reflects well on my record, and now, I'm sure I'm not going to get fired! ;)

Now to start thinking about my next recital in December! :P

P.S. After the recital, I enjoyed a wonderful sushi dinner and then got really, really buzzed. Talk about stress relief hehehe :P

My Dream Has Finally Come True!

2005-06-03T10:11:00.000-07:00

Last nite, my Sifu (Chinese for "sensei") invited a bunch of my classmates and I over to his place to hang out and watch movies. Well, we were talking and I sorta snuck into the conversation that I still really wanted to learn Kung Fu fan. He said that I could start learning beginning this Sunday and he wondered why I didn't ask to learn sooner. I told him that when I first came to the school that he told me that he would tell me when I was ready to learn it, to which he replied, "You're ready now." I am so amazingly happy! :D He even gifted me with his own personal Kung Fu fighting fan! This is definitely a milestone in my life... the very thing I came to Kung Fu class to learn, I will finally be starting! :) I'm so grateful to my Sifu and his faith in me :)

UPDATE: I deleted the pic that was here originally because some of my friends called me and said to take it down and wondered how I could be so retarded to post such a bad pic of me. I didn't think it was such a bad pic, but I did only have 4 hours of sleep when I took that pic and I still hadn't showered yet from last nite's Kung Fu. Therefore, I took the picture away :P

This started out innocently. I promise.

2005-06-02T00:03:00.000-07:00

So, after many requests of people wanting to see what my new haircut looked like, I decided to hook up my webcam and do a little picture taking. Well, originally, I wanted to show you my hair, and that was it. But then I wanted to include the new tops I got this weekend, too. So, it became this hair and fashion photo shoot thing.

This is the most amazing picture of my hair that I took. You can see the side sweeping bangs, the short layers on top, and all of that sexy volume ;)

A messy half up/half down is just one of the many looks I can achieve with this haircut. It's so versatile!

I was doing just fine taking PG-13 rated pics. But then, things turned terribly wrong because I got comfortable in front of the camera and well... let's just say that this post is dedicated to all the loyal guys who come by and visit my blog ;)

This is where it all started. The side view.

Wanna bite my lip for me? ;)

Meow. Just meow.

Okay, this picture has absolutely nothing to do with my hair... but have you noticed that my shirt is assymetrical? :P

Thank you for visiting "Sexy, Dirty, and Everything Flirty"

Please come again ;)

Weekends Should be Luxurious and Long

2005-06-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

I just got back from my Memorial Day weekend ;) I got done with work on Saturday and left for San Diego and got back into town this morning, just in time for work later this afternoon. I bet you all are hating me right now :P I ended up doing a lot... Let's make a list! :D

- I got a trendy new haircut. I cut side sweeping bangs and short layers around my crown while leaving the length intact. Now my hair doesn't get in the way when I'm making out with someone! ;)

- I got some cute new clothes. I made a deal with my sister (she's a fashion guru) to be my personal shopper and I'd pay her for it. Well, she went out to the Memorial Day sales and tore it up! She got me 3 tops and a pair of black pants for only $25! And they are all labels! I know. I'm a brand whore. :P

- I went to a drive-thru sushi place. Yes, you heard me. It's a place where you can pick up sushi at a drive-thru window. My whole family is amazed that I haven't died yet, considering I ordered rainbow rolls from there two days in a row. The best part is that they give all sorts of free crap with your order, like edamame, shrimp chips, and various cut fruits. It's like ordering a Japanese value meal! ;)

- I had "sex with the ex". Four times. I slept over at his place on Saturday nite and then again last nite. I'm so freaking bad at getting over boys. I'm so sure this is not healthy for either of us. Then again, it was really good sex. It's kind of like seeing that country fried steak with mashed potatoes and country gravy on the menu and thinking, "Oh, I shouldn't. It's so unhealthy. Then again... Mmmmmmmmm." Yeah, it's kind of like that.

Kicking Ass... Asian-Style

2005-05-27T08:48:00.000-07:00

So, since finals are over (YES!!!), I went to Kung Fu class last nite for the first time in almost a month! When I got there, I was surprised to see how many new people were there! It was like there was a whole martial arts troupe there ready to kick some ass! We started with some stretching, and since I haven't stretched for the past month, it was like an old friend. It felt so good to feel my body loosening up and really taking up space. Then, we did kicking drills which I quit 1/2 way through because the last time I did kicking drills, I pulled my hip and then complained that I wasn't having enough sex. Well, I haven't had sex in about 3 weeks. So, I wasn't taking any chances :P To end my 2 hour workout, I practiced with my 2-section staff (nunchukas). That felt like an old friend, too. I can't describe the exhilaration and power that comes from wielding a weapon that can backfire on you with just one tiny mistake. Plus, I look freaking HOT with the 'chuks ;)

The thing I realized last nite is that Kung Fu keeps me in balance. When I was practicing my fighting forms, I was totally in the moment. I wasn't thinking about anything but me and my body. I was only concentrating on having my body make beautiful shapes and moving fluidly. I'm really glad that I went to Kung Fu last nite. It was like it was exactly what I needed right now with everything going on. It made me feel like I have control over my body, and in turn, like I have control over my life. There's so much power associated with the art of Kung Fu. And I begin to realize why the masters of the art remain calm when their fists and feet are flying - there is so much power in everything we say and do that we should always be in complete control of that power at all times. I'm so thankful for the positive influence that Kung Fu has had on my life. It keeps me humble but has also gone a long way in helping to develop my self-esteem and confidence :)

Catharsis

2005-05-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

I'm just so wrought. I feel like I could spill onto the floor and never come back. I've never loved anyone in my life. But I loved him. I always just used men for their undying affection and devotion. But I wanted to take care of Chris. I wanted to be his wife. His real wife. All his shortcomings, I wanted to make up for. I wanted to hold him when he was sick. Kiss him when he was sad. Make love to him when he was happy. God, it hurts. It hurts so bad. It hurts so bad that I wasn't made for him. I can't get back together with him because I can't promise that I won't make mistakes. Insensitive ones. Uncompassionate ones. I never thought of him the way I wanted him to know I did.

I wish Jack never happened. I wish I had never asked for that threesome. I wish I never made you feel bad for not being tall, white, and skinny. I wish I never e-mailed anyone. I wish I never sold those pictures. I wish I helped you move the first time. I wish I dropped everything when you got in your car accident. Chris, I'm sorry for not being there when it counted, and I'm sorry for destroying the things that did. You were always there for me, but I could never be bothered enough to show I cared. You always had high expectations for me and knew I would reach them. You just didn't know when. I wish that I was there already. But I'm not, and I wish that you find someone who is. It took me two years to realize this, but I want you to be happy, even if I won't be a part of your life anymore...

I Miss Him

2005-05-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

Last nite at 2AM (damn my jacked sleeping pattern!), I think I was inspired by Yankeebob's post because I was looking through my photo album and going over old pictures of Chris and I. Two long years of memories. You know, you never take pictures of the bad moments either. God, we looked so good together... and so happy. All I could think when I saw him in those pics was, "Awwww... my baby."

I've just been thinking about him alot, lately. I DO care for him. I honestly do. I just hate fighting with him, and I hate seeing him upset. A part of me just wants to fall into his arms and cuddle until we fall asleep. I just can't get him off my mind. But I guess it doesn't help that I dried and framed the first long stem rose he ever gave me and then put it on the bedroom wall so I see it when I wake up every morning. :P

Unlike my previous satirical post, I really do feel like I'm crazy. Do I really think I can make it work? Will anything change this time around? Probably not. Can I deal with that??? I'm just so unsure of what direction my life is going to take right now. But what do you do when you feel like a part of you is missing... when the missing part is right there in front of you, waiting to be held?

So I guess it's time to tell you guys that I'm not okay...

2005-05-24T10:59:00.000-07:00

When you're a young woman who lives alone in a spacious, one bedroom apartment, things can get pretty lonely (especially if your place isn't haunted and especially if you don't see dead people). Well, after many nites of being in self-imposed social isolation, you start to get bored. And after you get bored, you get lonely. And after you get lonely, you go crazy. So, that's where I'm at right now. Crazy.

Let me introduce you to my children (yes, I gave birth to them!) who help me pass the time and reinforce the fact that I'm crazy:

Ham & Bacon

These twin brothers are my first-born. They are actually very comfy slippers that double as a comedy duo (in the style of Laurel and Hardy, of course) :P Ham goes on the left foot; Bacon goes on the right.

Bulbsaur

This is Bulbasaur. You may have seen him before. Here, he is pictured enjoying sushi (he takes after his mother) ;) He likes to sleep with me in bed at nite and gives me moral support when I'm up late, writing papers. In reality, he makes a great pillow.

Toasty

And last, we have Toasty. She's my only animate child, and I've had her since January, making her almost 9 months old. Isn't she adorable? Even though she's feisty, she's pretty good about not picking on the other, less animate kids. Instead, she performs kamikaze jumps from the windowsill onto my face when I'm sleeping. I'm not even kidding about that...

So, there you have it.

Yes, my womb is incredible to have spawned such an incredible variety of species.

Yes, they are all adorable.

Yes, I need to get out more. :P

My Sleeping Pattern Got Jacked

2005-05-23T14:20:00.000-07:00

On Saturday nite, David, my friend from Vegas, had a flight scheduled for 10:15PM at LAX. So, I got him there by 9PM just to make sure he got through the terminal with time to spare. As soon as I get home and start to unwind, he calls me and tells me that it's my fault that he didn't make his flight and he rescheduled it for 7AM, Sunday morning. Okay, first of all, since when did 75 minutes not become enough time to catch a flight? And secondly, when did this become my fault? I sincerely think fault should instead be owed to the 405. :P

Now, it takes me about 45 minutes each way to get to LAX. By this time, it's 11PM and his ass is telling me to drive my ass back over to LAX to pick him up, only to take him back at 5AM so he doesn't miss his flight again. Of course, I protest, telling him to sit his ass down in the terminal and wait for 6 hours. Here's my logic: If it takes me 45 minutes each way to get to LAX, then that means he wanted me to pick him up just so he could "hang out" with me for 4.5 hours. WTF? That's just a waste of my gas and time. Ugh. But because I'm a kind hearted soul, I went and picked him up so he didn't have to wait there for all of 6 hours *sigh*

I wouldn't have minded picking him up and letting him play video games in the living room while I got some sleep (please keep in mind this is the nite immediately after the whole drunk party fiasco), but does he? No. Instead, he wants me to drive him around to get snacks. Eventually, we get home and I lock him out of my room and get 90 minutes of sleep. 90 minutes later, I had to wake up and take his ass back to LAX at 4 in the morning... Remind me never to offer up my apartment as a place to stay for out-of-towners again.

So yesterday, I was studying and composing and rehearsing all day because this week is finals week. I got home @ 8PM and just crashed. I ended up waking up at 1AM and then worked on one my final projects until 4AM and crashed again.

It's now almost 3PM and I think I'm going to crash again. Damn LAX. Damn David. Damn finals week. Damn jacked sleeping pattern.

"That was the beginning and the end"

2005-05-22T09:19:00.000-07:00

I've never understood what that line really meant until Friday nite, but now I have personal experience with the concept :P It all started after Edgar (a violinist in my string quartet) and I went to Kabuki Sushi for lunch (if you are ever in the SFV, you MUST try this place! It's amazing!). Then, we went back to my apartment to practice a duet which I'll be performing on my upcoming recital at the music school I teach at. Before long, a bunch of people showed up and we were all whooping each other on Super Smash Bros. Melee ;) Then, someone suggested we get some Smirnoff and pizza to go along with the Gamecube. That right there, my friends, was the beginning and the end.

One guy decided it would be fun to try and slam apple martinis all nite. At first, he was okay. But when Edgar and I decided to try and play duets all buzzed, he couldn't even stay on the freaking couch. So, we all had to take turns holding him up while he tried making out with all of us (guys included). After that, Edgar and I got tired and went for a walk to sober up. What we didn't know was that, meanwhile, the girl who was watching the drunk guy passed out on the couch and he snuck back into the freezer to try and finish off the rest of the bottle (I have like one shot left, people). An hour later, he was driving the porcelain school bus with some serious road rage followed by 3 hours of him locking himself in the bathroom and passing out on my dirty, dirty floor. Oh yeah, and, apparently while the bathroom was "in use", someone peed on themselves. :P

The nite basically ended with everyone passed out on the floor of my living room... When I woke up, the only person left was "Slammy the Lush", AND he had a hangover. Great. Oh yeah... I forgot to tell you about the serious crying that this guy did while drunk. That's the worst. It's all fun and games (and falling all over the place) until someone starts crying. Then, you're like, "Oh shit! This guy has got some serious issues! Quick, someone get him something to throw up in, in case he chokes on his own saliva or something." :P Couple that with incoming angry drunk calls and you've got yourself a great Friday nite ;) Ah, the joys of college life :P

My place is a freaking mess.

-------------------------

Best lines of the evening:

"Dude. I know the only reason you did that is because you're drunk. But if you do that again, I'm gonna have to punch you." - Edgar after being drunk-kissed by his best friend

Him: I peed on myself.
Me: What? You peed on yourself?
Him: It's cold.

E3 2005 (Day 2)

2005-05-20T00:39:00.000-07:00

So, I woke up early again and fought traffic all the way down to the Convention Center. Only this time, I got there at 10AM! ;) Yay! Today, I came alone. So, I was determined to get all the free stuff I could get my hands on. The following is an account of all the crazy and fun things that happened to me:

I started my day by waiting in line to get a hat and an anime poster signed by some famous artist that I don't even know. From there, I went to the Nintendo booth to get in line for what I thought was going to be the first glimpse at the Nintendo Revolution. Sadly, it only ended up being the new Zelda game: Twilight Princess. However, there was a staffer there who let me cut in line because he thought I was "too cute to have to be waiting in line for anything." That was nice because he helped me cut 2 hours off my waiting time ;) But the real reason I was waiting in line was so I could meet my mystery man. Five guys showed up, but none of them was the guy I was hoping for. So, I had to turn them away bwahahahaha :P But I do give them props for having the balls to approach me :)

While I was waiting in line, alone, I got really bored. So, I decided to fuck with some of the people around me. My diabolical plan? Pretending to be a marketer conducting interviews on consumer gaming demographics. I started asking all these kids who were my age what they thought about the direction of this or the elements of that. I got them to believe I was a 34 y/o doing undercover work dressed in young people's clothing. God, people are so gullible. :P

The moment I got inside the Zelda demo booth is when my awesome day really started. Some staffer had to kick me off my game so a more important guy could try it out. So, when I pouted and looked disenfranchised, he gave me a rare DS stylus that he was wearing on his neck to make it up to me :D After that, I took this amazing picture with Link. I swear I do not usually look like this. Ever.

hi

Anyway, I could go on and on about everything I got and how I totally exploited men's weakness for women (because I did), but I won't. However, I will tell you that it made me feel incredibly amazing to have all that male attention. For once in my life, I didn't feel "just average". I felt "pretty" today, and I haven't felt this radiant in a long, long time. And I think that shows, even in the pic :)

Now, on to the reviews! Heroes of Might and Magic V looks gorgeous! As do many other computer games this year. The focus seems to be on engaging the player with lush graphics versus building on new ways of playing games. Thus, for the next year, computer games will remain more or less the same in terms of playability. The only thing that will be constantly upgraded is the quality of the visuals.

As for the consoles, the Nintendo Revolution is rumored to have an online port which Nintendo will provide FREE online support for its gamers. Also, it will have the ability to play any Nintendo game ever created thanks to the ability to download, much like the Nintendo DS. The PS3 has a more sleek design and comes with a croissant/boomerang-shaped controller and is rumored to have the ability to support 7 players without a hub! The Xbox 360 will have the expected amenities to keep it competitive as a console. As usual, its "media center" feature is what will place it apart from the rest.

Games to look out for in the future: Heroes of Might and Magic V (PC), Sly Cooper 3 (PS2), Mario Party 7 (GC), Zelda: Twilight Princess (GC), Pokemon XD (GC), New Super Mario Bros. (DS), Soul Caliber 3 (PS2), City of Villains (PC), Prince of Persia 3 (Xbox), and the list goes on... Happy gaming, everyone! :D