Glamour

Glamour is defined as "an air of compelling charm, romance, and excitement, especially when delusively alluring." Ever since I started this blog, my life has been decidedly glamorous: late nites, dirty dancing, strong drinks and careless romance. I wanted something different than what I had experienced the past 2 years. Everything seems so exciting: the attention, the loud music, the bright lights, the sheer audaciousness of it all. You're so over-stimulated that you hardly have time to think. And when you do think, it's like a tunnel. It's not, "What am I going to be doing next year?" It's "What am I gonna do next weekend?" It's so easy to get caught up in planning your life around other people and other events and subconsciously trying to create your own events from theirs. But at the end of the day, you grew a little smaller, you thought a little bit less, and the only thing waiting for you tomorrow is another party, another guy, and another drink.

I just got done watching an amazing Kurosawa film called, "Dreams". It's a montage of artfully done dream segments that weave themselves together into a surreal landscape that makes you think of things in a different way (and by different, I mean romanticized). It speaks of less complicated times and more virtuous values. And above all, it makes you think about the world we're creating for ourselves. And it made me think of my life and the directions I'm heading in, and I've decided that this is not the type of glamour I want to personify. I don't want my life to be cast in a series of dates and club events, but rather, I'd like it to be set in accomplishments and living well.

And I start to find that glamour can be the dangerous, sexy, and exciting girl I am now. But glamour can also be the intelligent, composed, compassionate girl I was before. As my friend, D'Amato, says, "Glamour is as glamour does", and whether I'm dancing and drinking it up in a club with cute boys or sitting at home typing up a thoughtful blog, glamour isn't about what you do, but how you do it. In fact, it's inside us, waiting to "wow" our most important critic - ourselves.