Sir Shady

When I first met Sir Shady, I thought he was perfect: he was a sexy college professor with a PhD and cared as much about education as I do. We went on date after date - dinner and a movie, art museum outting, TV and takeout, etc. As the dates went on, absolutely nothing that could be even mistaken for sexual happened. No kissing, no close contact hugs, nothing. I started to refer to him as "asexual" - there could be no other explanation :P I even tried the little hand on the arm or reassuring touch on the back and even "accidentally" brushed up against him a couple times. Nothing. No smile, no acknowledgement. Eventually I gave up on him and realized that our relationship was strictly platonic.

Then, one day he calls me and the first thing out of his mouth is "What are you looking for in a relationship?" WTF? That was out of nowhere. So, I tell him, and he reassures me that he's looking for the same things. Then he says this: "Now that you've had a chance to see the positive things about me, I want to let you know about the negative things". In all my naiveity, I ask, "Um, what negative things?"

- "I lied about my age. I'm 35, not 30."

- "I have an ex-wife and was recently divorced a few months ago."

- "I also have two children."

- "I think you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, warm, and compassionate. But I'm just not attracted to Asians."

At this point, I'm like "Just wow". But I tried to keep an open mind and understand why he would lie to me. If I had baggage like that, I guess I wouldn't want anyone to know right away either... But the thing that really got me was that he wasn't attracted to Asians. I was kinda like, "Why are you even dating me then?" I have never truly understood what racism was, until then. I was being disliked for something I couldn't even change about myself. Sure, don't like me because I'm prudish, or don't like me because I make stupid jokes... But don't like me because I'm chinky and yellow? That's uncalled for :P

Anyway, despite it all, I still kept our date for that evening and let him come over that nite...

To be continued... ;)