Wiki Wiki Sir Shady - Part Deux :P

So flash forward and he's at my door. I open the door and the first thing he does is lay a big fat one on me (and no, I don't mean his penis :P). At this point, I'm totally stunned because he's never even taken my hand or anything before this. Also, he missed my mouth and got my nose :( So, after wiping his saliva off, I invited him to have a drink at my full bar. Like a true Mexican, he goes straight for the tequila, which is good because I hate tequila. Anyway, we start watching "Sex and the City" and he just thinks it's the bee's knees :P Meanwhile, I'm cooking dinner - Fettucine Alfredo with Garlic Bread.

Finally, dinner is ready and I invite him to the table. He comes up to me and says, "Wow, this looks so good. Thank you so much for cooking." Then, he lays another fat one on me, except this time he engulfs my chin. Gross. I just don't understand bad kissers. I know I'm not the best kisser, but at least I can find the mouth :P

Anyway, we get done with dinner and we pour ourselves another drink and pop in a foreign film. Well, five minutes into the movie, he starts grinding into my leg saying, "Alcohol makes me horny". Great. Mr. Asexual just turned into Mr. Drunk Fuck.

Speaking of which, the whole day I kept asking myself if I wanted to be his first Asian - his experimental yellow sexcapade :P On one hand, I didn't want to be anyone's old college try, but then again, I remember when I thought I wasn't attracted to black men, but then I dated one and couldn't get enough of him. So then I thought, "Maybe I'll be doing a favor for all Asians if I sleep with this guy and show him what we're all about. Yeah, that's it!" I felt like a humanitarian :)

So, to the bedroom we went... and for the first forever, he just wanted to touch and makeout, which was so unattractive considering that "making out" basically meant he just wanted to miss my mouth 20 or 30 times in succession :( After that, it went to oral... and there it was - his uncut penis.

I don't know how to say this, but... I fucking hate uncut penis. There's just so much extra skin and you have to be careful not to touch it the wrong way and then it's all sensitive so when you really start to get going and are getting into it, they are like, "No, no. Don't touch my penis." And don't even get me going on the smegma... Yuck! It's like a high maintenance penis :P

Anyway, I couldn't bring myself to really go down on him. I think I just licked it a few times and I called it a day. So, I ended up just laying there and he says to me, "I wanna fuck you." Well, I sure as hell didn't want to fuck him. So, I came up with a quick excuse: "I only let my b/fs fuck me." "Well, I sorta think of you as my g/f already." OH HELL NO! WTF? Are you kidding me? I wanted to call like 10 people right there and be like "Oh hell no! This mothafucka did not just say that!" I mean, what kind of line IS that? I was so offended that I just left him there and went to the bathroom to pluck my eyebrows and wash my face and get ready for bed.

When I got back into the room, he was still there... except now he wanted to chat... for 4 hours. He ended up leaving around 4:30AM. I went to sleep thinking: "God, I hope he doesn't call me. That way, I won't have to sit there and explain to him why he's such a dick."

TO BE CONTINUED???