Critics

Dear SweetGirl909 (AKA Chris the Ex),

Firstly, I know it's you. I've known it's you since the first time you posted under that pseudonym, but I've said nothing until now. You know it's you, and I know it's you. So, why hide behind a fake persona? Is it so you won't get criticized for your biased views on me?

Secondly, why are you still trying to infiltrate my life? Last I remember, you wanted me to "get an STD and die" or something like that. I'm happy being out of your life. Why can't you be content staying out of mine? Just so you know, hiding in closets as well as stalking are never in fashion.

Third, you need to move on, for your own sake. It's been ten months since we've broken up. Go out, date, and forget about me. As much as I know you like to try to humiliate me on my blog, the best revenge would be to be happy and chalk up what happened between us as a bad idea. The longer you keep drawing out your pain, the longer it will be before you are truly happy.

Good Luck,

Quyen

A Wish for the Future

While on my way to work today, I was sitting at a stoplight, and I watched an old woman cross the street with her grandson's hand in hers. He was flailing his arms about, taking in the world around him, naive to the danger which surrounded him, while his grandmother chided him and walked him to the other side of the street, to saftey. He was a small human being, with no knowledge of the ills of the world or the mandates of society and social standing. He was, ideally, what philsophers refer to as tabula rasa, or "blank slate".

All children are tabulae rasae, entering the world with no preconceived mental constructs about anything. No racism, no hatred, no maliciousness. All of that is learned. And as I saw the little boy cross the street, I wondered, "What kind of man will he grow up to be?" Will he commit hate crimes? Will he stand by while they happen? Will he think women are his equals? Will he destroy life in the name of war?

Every child, no matter what race, color, creed, gender, or sexual orientation is a wish for the future. How we raise our children, as a society, directly affects our own dreams for not only our children's futures, but our own visions of what is ideal as well. How we act, how we think, and what we say are all subject to examination for our little tabulae rasae. And it pains me to imagine that, at this moment, some people are telling racist jokes to our "blank slates".

Fuck Buddies

I have more than enough of them, and enough is enough. The funny thing about hot sex is that when you aren't having it, you want it even more than an ice-cold beverage on a hot day. But when you are having it, you could care less. That's me right now. I literally have a collection of some of the hottest, most amazing, virile young men I have ever been with in my life, all just a phone call away. But I'm bored and, most of all, restless.

I can have sex with someone, and as soon as they leave, I'm up and about looking for something else to do. It's as if I feel like I'm pity-fucking these gorgeous men. Some might say that I'm looking for something deeper, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to be swept off of my feet. But on the other hand, I'm still not ready for a relationship. So, why am I acting so disinterested?

The funny part is that I'm most content sitting home alone, reading a book in bed, or doing laundry while feigning being glamorous in my Chanel sunglasses. Frankly, it's a lot more productive than watching a guy try to make me cum for two hours. I wish I could say I enjoyed the sex more, but I just have so much of it now that it's just "blah". My friends say that I'm evolving. But am I starting to evolve past the need for sex?

$$$

Two things:

1) I hate being on a budget.

2) It went up in price :(

Obligation

Someone once told me, "You have no obligation to anyone but yourself". Those words literally redirected my past relationship, my ideals, my goals and my aspirations. I remember I first heard them three weeks before my boob job, around my 21st birthday, and ever since I've heard them, I've been living with that as my mantra.

If I had never heard those words, I'm positive that I'd still be with Chris, being a wonderful and loving partner. It's funny. It's like those words were some kind of magic spell that brought out a whole host of qualities in me I had never seen. I became more independent, more self-serving, more fiesty... Chris often asked me what about me changed, suddenly? I think I've finally pinpointed it.

It's amazing how much impact another's words can have on a person. For me, they changed everything about my life. I started seeing life as less a matter of debts and reparations and more as the idea of self-permanence and disposability. I started to see people as islands, only sailing to other islands to get something they needed, whether it was money, validation, or even the promise of a future favor.

People stepped out of old mental constructs and evolved into something entirely different. My family went from the institution I would have sacrificed myself for to a set of people who knew my childhood better than I did. My friends changed from a form of social leisure into a series of give and take sessions. And Chris, whom I had thought I would love forever, became a man.

When you live like that, you only want to take from others and you only warrant giving when there is something to take in the first place. It's the idea that if you aren't helping me, then you are hurting me. This is why the men I date are so disposable. Sex and affection have become business transactions. And that is where I am wrong.

Knowing what I know now, I would have revised what my friend said into, "The only obligation you have to anyone is to those you love". I still believe that give and take relationships exist with acquaintances and friends. But for those you love, you need to give yourself and take care of them the best way you know how. And in respecting the past, I'm giving my apology to Chris - I have finally found a reason to truly be sorry.

Meow.

I want this. Now.




If anyone wants to buy this for me, click here :P

Wiki Wiki Sir Shady - Part Deux :P

So flash forward and he's at my door. I open the door and the first thing he does is lay a big fat one on me (and no, I don't mean his penis :P). At this point, I'm totally stunned because he's never even taken my hand or anything before this. Also, he missed my mouth and got my nose :( So, after wiping his saliva off, I invited him to have a drink at my full bar. Like a true Mexican, he goes straight for the tequila, which is good because I hate tequila. Anyway, we start watching "Sex and the City" and he just thinks it's the bee's knees :P Meanwhile, I'm cooking dinner - Fettucine Alfredo with Garlic Bread.

Finally, dinner is ready and I invite him to the table. He comes up to me and says, "Wow, this looks so good. Thank you so much for cooking." Then, he lays another fat one on me, except this time he engulfs my chin. Gross. I just don't understand bad kissers. I know I'm not the best kisser, but at least I can find the mouth :P

Anyway, we get done with dinner and we pour ourselves another drink and pop in a foreign film. Well, five minutes into the movie, he starts grinding into my leg saying, "Alcohol makes me horny". Great. Mr. Asexual just turned into Mr. Drunk Fuck.

Speaking of which, the whole day I kept asking myself if I wanted to be his first Asian - his experimental yellow sexcapade :P On one hand, I didn't want to be anyone's old college try, but then again, I remember when I thought I wasn't attracted to black men, but then I dated one and couldn't get enough of him. So then I thought, "Maybe I'll be doing a favor for all Asians if I sleep with this guy and show him what we're all about. Yeah, that's it!" I felt like a humanitarian :)

So, to the bedroom we went... and for the first forever, he just wanted to touch and makeout, which was so unattractive considering that "making out" basically meant he just wanted to miss my mouth 20 or 30 times in succession :( After that, it went to oral... and there it was - his uncut penis.

I don't know how to say this, but... I fucking hate uncut penis. There's just so much extra skin and you have to be careful not to touch it the wrong way and then it's all sensitive so when you really start to get going and are getting into it, they are like, "No, no. Don't touch my penis." And don't even get me going on the smegma... Yuck! It's like a high maintenance penis :P

Anyway, I couldn't bring myself to really go down on him. I think I just licked it a few times and I called it a day. So, I ended up just laying there and he says to me, "I wanna fuck you." Well, I sure as hell didn't want to fuck him. So, I came up with a quick excuse: "I only let my b/fs fuck me." "Well, I sorta think of you as my g/f already." OH HELL NO! WTF? Are you kidding me? I wanted to call like 10 people right there and be like "Oh hell no! This mothafucka did not just say that!" I mean, what kind of line IS that? I was so offended that I just left him there and went to the bathroom to pluck my eyebrows and wash my face and get ready for bed.

When I got back into the room, he was still there... except now he wanted to chat... for 4 hours. He ended up leaving around 4:30AM. I went to sleep thinking: "God, I hope he doesn't call me. That way, I won't have to sit there and explain to him why he's such a dick."

TO BE CONTINUED???

Sir Shady

When I first met Sir Shady, I thought he was perfect: he was a sexy college professor with a PhD and cared as much about education as I do. We went on date after date - dinner and a movie, art museum outting, TV and takeout, etc. As the dates went on, absolutely nothing that could be even mistaken for sexual happened. No kissing, no close contact hugs, nothing. I started to refer to him as "asexual" - there could be no other explanation :P I even tried the little hand on the arm or reassuring touch on the back and even "accidentally" brushed up against him a couple times. Nothing. No smile, no acknowledgement. Eventually I gave up on him and realized that our relationship was strictly platonic.

Then, one day he calls me and the first thing out of his mouth is "What are you looking for in a relationship?" WTF? That was out of nowhere. So, I tell him, and he reassures me that he's looking for the same things. Then he says this: "Now that you've had a chance to see the positive things about me, I want to let you know about the negative things". In all my naiveity, I ask, "Um, what negative things?"

- "I lied about my age. I'm 35, not 30."

- "I have an ex-wife and was recently divorced a few months ago."

- "I also have two children."

- "I think you're beautiful, intelligent, funny, warm, and compassionate. But I'm just not attracted to Asians."

At this point, I'm like "Just wow". But I tried to keep an open mind and understand why he would lie to me. If I had baggage like that, I guess I wouldn't want anyone to know right away either... But the thing that really got me was that he wasn't attracted to Asians. I was kinda like, "Why are you even dating me then?" I have never truly understood what racism was, until then. I was being disliked for something I couldn't even change about myself. Sure, don't like me because I'm prudish, or don't like me because I make stupid jokes... But don't like me because I'm chinky and yellow? That's uncalled for :P

Anyway, despite it all, I still kept our date for that evening and let him come over that nite...

To be continued... ;)

Living up to the name...

I've been thinking... this blog is called "Sexy, Dirty, and Everything Flirty". Yet, it doesn't appear that any sexing, dirtying, or flirting is going on :P Let me make things better ;)

For the past three months or so, I've been dating three guys. For our purposes here, we'll call them Mr. MIA, Sir Shady, and E. Unavailable. Each of them has something really attractive about them and then there's the baggage...

Let's start with Mr. MIA, which stands for Mr. Missing In Action. BEST SEX I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. Period. I really can't say more. He's my complete sexual match, and in terms of physicality, he's 100% my "type". When we're together, everything is perfect. But when we're not, he's Mr. MIA. I could go a couple weeks without even getting a text message from this guy, and he's flaked on me more times than I can count. It's rude, thoughtless, and inconsiderate. You'd think I would have stopped talking to him by now, but I'm telling you, the sex is just that good :P

That brings us to Sir Shady. Sir Shady is fucking SHADY. That's how he got his name :P He's lied about his age, his ex-wife, the fact that he is a father of two, and more. The funny thing is that he comes off as so sincere. He's the type of guy you sit there and really respect for what he's had to overcome, and then he gets all shady and starts lying to you, and then you wonder if he's lying about the stuff that you find amazing about him too! Oh yeah, he's a horrible kisser too. He consistently misses my mouth and ends up sucking on my chin more often than not :( Gross.

And finally, we have E. Unavailable, first name Emotionally. He's actually the most fun to hang out with. I could just sit there and not say anything to him, but I'd still feel like I'm communicating with him. He's sweet, goofy, and cute to boot. This is actually the guy I started falling in (dare I say it?) love with and was considering dropping everyone else for so I could be there for him 100%. When I finally bared my feelings to him, he turned me down saying that he wasn't ready to have a g/f. I respect his decision, even though it hurt and I cried. But leave it to me to fall for the guy who can't return my affections (or anyone else's) because of his lack of readiness.

Anyway, now that I've introduced the characters, it's time to start telling the stories... To be continued... ;)

Impulse Buy of the Year

I just spent $1,750 on this.